Wednesday, December 1, 2010

To: Mike A...

I got this text today and since I have caught total HELL in the past for not telling my daughter right away about any conversations I have with YOU, Mike I decided to THINK a while and to let her know that I got this text and that I planned to answer it here because I dont think even UNLIMITED texting will hold All I have to say.
Just REMEMBER that you opened this door and I am walking THROUGH IT!


From Mike A.
Ms Hall this is mike and i just wanna let you know i dont feel it necessary to prove myself to those that havent proven themselves to me. I dont dislike you or anything I just want you to know i could care less for approval...Im a grown man and i have real thingz to concern myself with ... I dont mean no harm just want you to know where Im comin from.... have a nice day. Ghost.

1st.  YOU have the RIGHT to feel any way you see fit... SO DO I.

2nd. ANY MAN and I do mean ANY MAN who sees fit to lure my teen age daughter to leave home at age 18 years and one day less than one month old, who is a JUNIOR in HIGH SCHOOL at the time... HAS TO PROVE HIMSELF TO ME! PERIOD

 ANY MAN, who enables my BABY my CHILD my YOUNG ADULT Daughter to leave her HOME before she is MENTALLY Ready DOES OWE ME the PEACE OF MIND that

a. HE CAN AND WILL take care of her in the manner she has been raised

b. THAT HE CAN AND DOES RESPECT himself and HER.

c. that HE CAN AND WILL encourage and GUIDE her in WHAT IS RIGHT to succeed in life.
and thats just for starters.

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE SEEN ....
1. you changed jobs there for a while more than some people change underwear... NO SECURITY

2. you NEEDED HER to help you pay the bills BECAUSE you COULD NOT pay them where you were living by yourself.  *dont get me wrong today in this world most of the time it DOES take two to make it, HOWEVER,  You showed ME that you were UNABLE to take care of your self much less my daughter.

3. From December 27th (the day she left) until May when her junior year was over... SHE MISSED OVER 50 DAYS OF SCHOOL!!!!  I still do not see HOW she was passed on to her senior year.

4. I TOLD YOU BOTH ... TO YOUR hard headed faces DO NOT WHAT EVER YOU DO DO NOT GET PREGNANT!   well in oh about 3 maybe 4 months no 3 months TIME SHE WAS PREGNANT and then lied for the NEXT 4 MONTHS about it.  YOU BOTH LIED TO MY FACE OVER AND OVER ... I do not respect lies.  PERIOD.

5. YOU have enabled her to LOSE what should be the best, most fun, carefree time of her life... IF YOU RESPECTED HER AND LOVE HER you would have WAITED for her because SHE IS WORTH IT.

and yes I am fully aware that Martha Jean hold no less than 50% responsibility in all this ... HOWEVER this text came from you... therefore I am basically answering YOU.

NOW granted all the above is somewhat in the past it has been things I have seen and delt with in the last 11 months so LETS SKIP on to address TODAY and a part of your statement that is makeing me see RED,  I am trying very hard not to go all ghetto on you and trying to maintain a level of MATURITY for you and my daughter to see and UNDERSTAND  BUT, I promise If you can not rise to my level and understand what I am about to say then I can REWORD it in a gutter language that the most uneducated moronic person could understand.... and for what its worth I dont think you are uneducated or moronic... I think you are a bit off on what you think the world owes you and what you think I owe you...

SO let me clarify what I am addressing...
you said...."i dont feel it necessary to prove myself to those that havent proven themselves to me."

VERY DEEP BREATH HERE.....
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I NEED TO DO TO PROVE MY SELF TO YOU???  for that matter what do you think My husband has to prove to you?

I have taken the beliefs I was raised to believe and basically thrown them out the window to give YOU a CHANCE.  Granted Michael has NOT he may NEVER accept you but, GUESS WHAT that is his right ... HE has every right to  feel what he feels no matter HOW WRONG you martha jean or anyone else might BELIEVE he is. 
REMEMBER this is HIS BABY you are messing with.  One day when YOUR DAUGHTERS are older YOU WILL TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!! 

I have decided to do what ever I can to help you BOTH, to ensure that Martha Jean finishes High school;
I DO run the very tires off my vehicle to try to help see that Martha Jean is where she needs to be when she needs to be there.  *MARTHA JEAN I am NOT complaining just STATING FACT.

I have decided to keep your daughter when martha jean is in school and when needed while she is at work. 
And that has not changed ... you BOTH have the right to decide to have someone else keep her if you do not want me to keep her.

I have spent... GOD only knows how much MONEY to help you BOTH but, that being said NO I WONT and DONT hand you either one cash... mostly because I dont believe it will help you.

I speak to you with my heart, I talk to you when you ask me to, when by all thats right and holy in my beliefs I COULD simply SHOOT you when you drive up my drive way. I also have a HUSBAND who LOVES ME SO MUCH that he allows you to drive up our driveway when he SERIOUSLY would prefer to simply shoot you.  REMEMBER this is his baby daughter you are messing with.... and ONE DAY you WILL UNDERSTAND how he feels and why he feels that way.

Now, here is where we are today...

YOU and Martha are living with your parents... because you TWO could not pay the power bill and your trailor has no power.  THAT DOES NOT PROVE TO ME THAT YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF MY DAUGHTER AND GRANDDAUGHTER... nor does it prove to my husband that you can.

since my child loves to throw into my face what her father and I have done in this life... let me share...
YES when I was 19 I got pregnant with Cory... BUT, I had graduated from highschool and was living on my OWN.  I WAS WORKING two full time jobs and one part time job when Michael and I got together and HE was WORKING full time with over time and living on his own.   late into my pregnancy with Cory I could not work any more I had toxiemia... and thankfully Michael was able to provide for himself, ME, and our baby.  YES things were hard, things were tight but, we paid all of our bills before we ever DID ANYTHING like going to the movies or going out to eat or ANYTHING that was not necessary to live.

YES Mike you have a job, you work part time at pizza hut and IF you were a teen living at home with your parents and NOT A GROWN MAN living on your own it would be a perfect job. 
There is something I have never quite understood about how YOUNGER people think about jobs... THEY ARE JUST THAT ... a JOB a means to make money to pay bills and we all have them and all HAVE to pay them.
MY PRIDE ALONE would make me crazy to not be able to pay ALL of the bills and use what my girlfriend makes for the fun stuff the extras... I WOULD BE WORKING 3 JOBS IF NEED BE to satisfy MY OWN pride in myself...
you BOTH need to look and see ...
Martha Jean goes to school most days, usually late but she goes, then after school she has usually less than an hour to an hour and a half before she goes to WORK and SHE IS 8 MONTHS PREGNANT. 
You both talk to me about NEEDING your seperate time... WELL, MIKE YOU GET YOURS when is MARTHA TO GET HERS?   And, for what it is worth you BOTH NEED TO REALISE AND UNDERSTAND that IF you are not able to spend your time together talking, watching tv playing cards playing tiddelywinks when times are hard without NEEDING your OWN TIME... then you dont have much HOPE of making it together when the everyday stresses of bills, work, and family HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD.

I could go on for DAYS... but, I wont... and for what it is worth I DO NOT DISLIKE YOU... most of the time... as you are a very likeable person you have a fun personality and IF YOU would take pride in yourself and  WOULD live up to being the MAN you claim, then PROVING yourself would happen NATURALLY.

Remember sitting on my back patio and talking about love and relationships... what I told you that day ...
is found in  EPHESIANS chaper 6 verse 25.  HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES, EVEN AS CHRIST ALSO LOVED THE CHURCH AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT; 28 SO OUGHT MEN  TO LOVE THEIR WIVES AS THIER OWN BODIES. HE THAT LOVETH HIS WIFE LOVETH HIMSELF. 29. FOR NO MAN EVER YET HATED HIS OWN FLESH; BUT NOURISHETH AND CHERISHETH IT. EVEN AS THE LORD THE CHURCH.
what I told you that day stands true today ... IF YOU WANT HER TO LOVE YOU IN THE MANNOR THAT YOU SPOKE TO ME ABOUT... then IF YOU DO THIS, SHE WILL. 

Now... this all being said I reserve the RIGHT to my feelings and to add to it as i see fit... YES, IF YOU EVER WANT A SNOWBALLS CHANCE IN HELL OF BEING ACCEPTED INTO OUR FAMILY YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOURSELF... you have to PROVE that you are THE MAN you claim to be and SHOW US that you can and will TAKE CARE OF OUR BABY, that you RESPECT YOURSELF and HER and your CHILDREN and that you are willing and able to do what it takes to make it work. 

and MARTHA JEAN you as well have things to PROVE, just like Stephanie has had to ... and yeah some things she still falls a bit short on... speaking of today of course GAH... Cory still has to PROVE himself and since i KNOW its coming ... REMEMBER that SHE HAS been working ever since she was 16 to BE a PART of this family.  and I hope you noticed that NONE of what I am talking about has anything to do with SKIN COLOR... it is what WE would want and EXPECT of ANY MAN that chooses to  be a part of OUR DAUGHTERS LIFE.  PERIOD!

11 comments:

Paxie Panicker said...

I'm seeing red because you are my friend and I hate, HATE, to see you having to go through this. You are going to end up extremely sick over all this stress and not be of any help to anyone. It is time you took care of yourself and let all the adults take care of themselves for awhile. I know as a Mom, this is almost impossible and I know you love and want to help. Stop. Now. Please. I can see your blood pressure from up here.

I have a great ear and time. You can always call me and rant. This is getting out of control. Love you. ((Hugs))

jojo said...

I agree with Deb...please Peach, for yourself please be careful. I'm worried about this stress on you and your hubs.

lil sister said...

i definitely have an aunt's/sister's perspective on this subject but would like to sit back and choose my words carefully, since you above all others sister, know how i can get when over zealous about expressing my opinion.

Grandma Tillie's Bakery said...

I have a spare bedroom and a window with a beautiful view...oh lookie there--it has Peach's name on it. Say the word sister and just step on a plane. I will pick you up at the airport and mums the word where you are at. You can help me decorate Christmas cookies!

You can stay as long as you like and when you are ready to go back to that madness I will send you home with smoked salmon and a cake made just for you :-)

P.S.--you might want to bring a warm coat. I'm just sayin.

Mental P Mama said...

I am so on board with everybody here. And as far as you proving yourself to him?????? You are going to raise yet another of his b$%@*$d children. I cannot even write this. I am so sick. Who taught this 'man' how to be??????

Chris H said...

Obviously there is nothing I can add to that! My god you said it all very well.
Mike A needs a kick in the head.... fancy text'ing you that load of bullshit.
{{{HUGS}}} to you Laura.

Sioux said...

You go, girl. We all need to say things like this at times like this!!!

Bluebird49 said...

Amen and amen again, Honey! I know there's much more you need and want to say---and if it helps--this is your blog! I had a daughter, who passed away 12 years ago, and when she was here, I would have done anything to keep her safe, and if I had her back--well, I would do almost anything to have her back.

I'm so sorry you're going through this terrible stress right now--I just hope in years to come, it will be better and you can actually look back and say, "We got through this--I didn't think I could --but we did, and we didn't kill one another, either!"

Debbie Jean said...

Please Laura, take care of yourself and hubby. They (MJ and Baby Daddy) are not children anymore, so let them grow up and face the real world. That young man, has no right to talk to you in that manner. You have been nothing but good to them. Your family is in my prayers. Love ya!!!

God Bless~
Debbie Jean

TonjiaT said...

Laura! I found you!!

Now my 2 cents worth.. You are a bigger woman than I am. If I were to receive a text from a "man" who has already proven that he is senseless, unmotivated and selfish, like this guy, I would be tearing him from limb to limb...

Restraint, thats what you have my friend. I applaud you.

I agree with the rest of the girls, take care of yourself. Mend your relationship with MJ, she will always be your baby girl. I hate to say this, but she and her little one will undoubtedly need you more in the future. Because this guy sounds like he probably wont be around when she needs him.

Love and hugs to you Laura.

caroline said...

Laura, My thoughts, prayers and well wishes are with you, MJ, and your husband. I'm so sorry that what should be an exciting, happy time is overshadowed by this heartache. You really do express yourself well...keep doing it and don't let the stress build up.

I've been reading you a long time, although I've never said hello. I think you are a spectacular mom and grandmom. From one GA Peach to another!