well I cant keep doing this with martha I cant be a part of her life if she chooses to go back to mike today then I no longer have a daughter or grand daughter.... she refuses to give herself time to make it on her own. she hates her dad when in reality its me she probably should hate... well i think she hates me too truth be known, i never dreamed i could be hurt by her so badly but i guess i was just too close to her when she was younger and it hurts me so much becuase i expect and believe in so much more for her... i knew when she left that if she talked to him she would go back... no doubts about it in my mind... I dont know why and what he has over her but she will suffer and so will halo all of her life because of it... I am so sad... and hurt by her yet again.... no more... I cant do this any more... I have to let them go and NOT be used by her I cant allow that to happen any more.... I dont think she will even come speak to me about it all i believe she will stay right there with him ... and its to the point that she has not hit rock bottom ...I cant be her driver or babysitter any more... she will have to totally use up everyone and every thing and I can only pray that halo lives through it all.... I will be crushed with out halo in our lives and her papa will be too... but what else can we do....
there is nothing....
let her go and let god take it... is all i can do
I cant do this... I cant go back and forth with martha.... I cant live without halo...
Saturday, November 1, 2025
Thursday, February 8, 2018
Martha Jean,
I read your comments. And I also changed all my pass words so no more hijacking. I put things here because you choose not to talk to me... you had every opportunity today to talk to me ... I do have one question for you... your last little comment about abandonment soon being in place. Do you intend to use your daughter as a pawn against me? do you intend to take her from my care while you are in school? if so please do not tarry do not let me love her more day after day just to take her away.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
More to my daughter....
My darling little girl, who no matter how old you become or how many children you have of your own will always be my little girl. you are the one I will always have the hardest time talking to, expressing my feelings to, making understand where I am coming from.... I love you child. No matter how hard I try to let it all go, to let what ever happens happen, to let you fly or fall, I still will always speak what I think... sorry cant help myself there been that way forever... ask my dad... I can be brutal...and I know it. I apologise to an extent for it but, I do not apologise for wanting more for you, for seeing what you CAN be and for expressing that to you... I am sorry that you think some of the things that you do think and I even know why you think them but, I want to clarify a few things.
1. Yes you are loved by BOTH your dad and I.
2. You are the ONE responsible for your actions and decisions, All of them.
3. We want only the best for you.
4. You are welcome to come home, to be able to be assisted with school, work and raising Halo.
WE DO NOT want you to think or believe that we want to "take" Halo from her father. I do not hate Mike, nor does your dad.... BUT do not be deluded... we do not like him either... and it has NOTHING to do with his skin color... it has to do with HOW WE see he treats you HOW he does not do what a MAN should or would do if he loved you like he CLAIMS.
IT has to do with what we have SEEN and HEARD from YOU in the last year.
We have never and still do not think that interracial relationships are the best choice for ANYONE not because we think that black skinned people are less than or different than white skinned people... but because LIFE IS HARD. It is hard when you are both white or both black and it is even harder for the children of those relationships. Granted times are changing , peoples views are changing especially with YOUR generation but, for OUR generations and for the SOUTH as a whole things are NOT changing like you want them to and GOD FORBID anyone does or says something to hurt Halo ... but maybe you are realising that even with MY Mother that is something that WOULD happen if she knew about her... and that is one of many of the reasons that MY mother can NOT know about your child... and THAT SUCKS... it sucks that I feel I can not talk about brag on or post pics on facebook of MY GRANDDAUGHTER because my mother would find out about her. It is NOT FAIR to me to HALO... to my friends and family who DO accept her and who would never HURT her because of WHO her parents are.
5. We will do anything and everything we can to help you and to help Halo but, like I tried to express to you today we will not help mike and will do as little as possible in things to help you and Halo when he is the one benefiting from that help... HE IS A MAN remember, he does not need or want or deserve OUR HELP. ok sorry thats one of those brutal truths but it has to be said.
6. for the record... YOU WILL CARE about WHO Halo chooses to date and WHO she chooses to hang with and what she does in her life... those words that popped out of your mouth today are ones that I will enjoy seeing you eat... and BELIEVE ME with all your heart, soul, mind, and body... you WILL CARE!
you will cry your self to sleep at night when she does things like you did as a teen... you will want to rip her head off and shake the shit out of it... you will want to lock her in a padded room until she is at least 25... all because YOU LOVE HER AND YOU WANT TO SEE HER DO AND BE ALL THAT YOU KNOW SHE CAN BE... because God help you child but you are very much your mothers child.
1. Yes you are loved by BOTH your dad and I.
2. You are the ONE responsible for your actions and decisions, All of them.
3. We want only the best for you.
4. You are welcome to come home, to be able to be assisted with school, work and raising Halo.
WE DO NOT want you to think or believe that we want to "take" Halo from her father. I do not hate Mike, nor does your dad.... BUT do not be deluded... we do not like him either... and it has NOTHING to do with his skin color... it has to do with HOW WE see he treats you HOW he does not do what a MAN should or would do if he loved you like he CLAIMS.
IT has to do with what we have SEEN and HEARD from YOU in the last year.
We have never and still do not think that interracial relationships are the best choice for ANYONE not because we think that black skinned people are less than or different than white skinned people... but because LIFE IS HARD. It is hard when you are both white or both black and it is even harder for the children of those relationships. Granted times are changing , peoples views are changing especially with YOUR generation but, for OUR generations and for the SOUTH as a whole things are NOT changing like you want them to and GOD FORBID anyone does or says something to hurt Halo ... but maybe you are realising that even with MY Mother that is something that WOULD happen if she knew about her... and that is one of many of the reasons that MY mother can NOT know about your child... and THAT SUCKS... it sucks that I feel I can not talk about brag on or post pics on facebook of MY GRANDDAUGHTER because my mother would find out about her. It is NOT FAIR to me to HALO... to my friends and family who DO accept her and who would never HURT her because of WHO her parents are.
5. We will do anything and everything we can to help you and to help Halo but, like I tried to express to you today we will not help mike and will do as little as possible in things to help you and Halo when he is the one benefiting from that help... HE IS A MAN remember, he does not need or want or deserve OUR HELP. ok sorry thats one of those brutal truths but it has to be said.
6. for the record... YOU WILL CARE about WHO Halo chooses to date and WHO she chooses to hang with and what she does in her life... those words that popped out of your mouth today are ones that I will enjoy seeing you eat... and BELIEVE ME with all your heart, soul, mind, and body... you WILL CARE!
you will cry your self to sleep at night when she does things like you did as a teen... you will want to rip her head off and shake the shit out of it... you will want to lock her in a padded room until she is at least 25... all because YOU LOVE HER AND YOU WANT TO SEE HER DO AND BE ALL THAT YOU KNOW SHE CAN BE... because God help you child but you are very much your mothers child.
Monday, February 18, 2013
manic monday
the job interview was cancelled, I got an email at 330 in the morning saying that the adinistrator was ill and would be in touch... so I will wait to hear from her.
Chris... Yes they are back together, I have not talked ot them much so not sure how things are going... I have to be patient and let them come to me... Have I mentioned that I am not really a patient person :)
OH WOW I WAS ABLE TO LOAD PHOTOS....
This one is me my cousin Les and my step sister Jennifer somewhere there is a photo just like this only 15 years ago taken at dad and jeannes wedding, we made sure it was the same pose... My copy of the older one is in the photo album that I took up there :)
then there is Michael, dad and I...
and these two are my cousins, sister (les) and younger brother(todd) and they are the closest people ever I envy their closeness... but, they are soooooo funny too!
his expression says it all LOL...
any way just popping on to say that the interview did not happen.... YET...
have an awesome rest of today ...
love n hugs
Chris... Yes they are back together, I have not talked ot them much so not sure how things are going... I have to be patient and let them come to me... Have I mentioned that I am not really a patient person :)
OH WOW I WAS ABLE TO LOAD PHOTOS....
This one is me my cousin Les and my step sister Jennifer somewhere there is a photo just like this only 15 years ago taken at dad and jeannes wedding, we made sure it was the same pose... My copy of the older one is in the photo album that I took up there :)
any way just popping on to say that the interview did not happen.... YET...
have an awesome rest of today ...
love n hugs
Sunday, February 17, 2013
I apologise....
I know it has been a really crazy year already and my blogging fell to pieces..jan 7th my step mother passed away, Michael and I went to Il for her funeral... it was a whirlwind trip 1440 miles in 60 hours. we left earlier than we planned and thank God we did as the torrential rains we did get caught in were rough but the ones we beat... oh yeah were even worse... with freezing and flooding.
so in the last just over a month...we have not slowed down much, I dont hear from martha and halo as much as I want but, I am handleing it... sort of. Cory Steph and Bradley are good and staying busy and keeping me on my toes LOL... I dont hear from cory as much as I want but again when your children grow up and move out and have their own families that happens ... so it is normal.
I have been job hunting... have an interview tomorrow am cautiously optomistic on that ...
I have an appt with the eye dr (to get new glasses) on wednesday ... I called and asked them to call the retina dr and get my tests as I wont be paying for lesser tests when he does the most complete studies and tests available... but I was supposed to get glasses over a year ago when we discovered the neuroretinitis.... so they never happened... and I do need them :)
I have been to the infectious diease dr and he is pleased he said keep taking the antibotics until june and we will reevaluate so I am still on them this is 14 months ... so far.
mother is still mad at me, in fact shes probably MORE mad now than she was a couple weeks ago since I had to tell her NO on something she wanted, and our lawyer agrees with me ... so all I can say is get glad ... but because shes mad it means she is not exactly talking to me.... and i feel bad some days because i really have not spoken more than a few times to her since august.
and for now thats all ... i do stay sort of active on facebook it is much easier to post photos to.
well its news time... so have a wonderful week!
love and hugs
so in the last just over a month...we have not slowed down much, I dont hear from martha and halo as much as I want but, I am handleing it... sort of. Cory Steph and Bradley are good and staying busy and keeping me on my toes LOL... I dont hear from cory as much as I want but again when your children grow up and move out and have their own families that happens ... so it is normal.
I have been job hunting... have an interview tomorrow am cautiously optomistic on that ...
I have an appt with the eye dr (to get new glasses) on wednesday ... I called and asked them to call the retina dr and get my tests as I wont be paying for lesser tests when he does the most complete studies and tests available... but I was supposed to get glasses over a year ago when we discovered the neuroretinitis.... so they never happened... and I do need them :)
I have been to the infectious diease dr and he is pleased he said keep taking the antibotics until june and we will reevaluate so I am still on them this is 14 months ... so far.
mother is still mad at me, in fact shes probably MORE mad now than she was a couple weeks ago since I had to tell her NO on something she wanted, and our lawyer agrees with me ... so all I can say is get glad ... but because shes mad it means she is not exactly talking to me.... and i feel bad some days because i really have not spoken more than a few times to her since august.
and for now thats all ... i do stay sort of active on facebook it is much easier to post photos to.
well its news time... so have a wonderful week!
love and hugs
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
maybe the tornado is slowing
it has been a whirlwind of stuff....
We did manage to go to Illinois for the funeral we left last thursday evening when Michael got off work. we drove to clarksville tennessee and stopped for the night, then drove the rest of the way in the next day and managed to even rest about an hour before we had to be at the funeral home.
I had to cover my face and laugh... ok giggle a little ... even though it really was not funny. Poor Michael does not wear his dress clothing often. and he has gained some weight. those poor dress pants and that poor suit... Im sure his hips will never recover... thing is he fluxuates so little in size it never even occoured to me that he might not be able to wear them. he hopped he cussed he sucked his gut in and he finally just put his belt on and prayed a little prayer that the pants would make it through the evening. and they did... His suit was even tighter... no tie was going on since the shirt could not be buttoned... and I finally managed to get his suit pants hooked ... HE DID NOT TAKE THEM OFF TILL WE GOT HOME! I could not believe that after the funeral when I ran to change to jeans along with everyone else he said here take my coat I will just ride home in this.
Anyway the visitation was 5 hours for us because we had to be there a bit early... and let me tell you... in 5 hours there was NO slowing of people who came... I have NEVER seen so many except possibly for when Mikes momma passed that was a HUGE bunch too.
The funeral was Saturday morning and again a HUGE croud came. it was one of the nicest funerals I have ever been too, I actually liked what the pastor had to say and the music was fantastic... I had forgotten that Jeannes favorite song is also one of my favorites. and the ride to the cemetary was long but we had dad jordan and judy and ronnie with us so we all chatted up a storm and made the ride pass quickly. (it was a couple towns to the cemetary)
We stayed long enough to enjoy the lunch that the church provided... as the winter storm threat made us all decide to head to our homes right after ... Mike and I had originally planned to stay till sunday... we are so glad w ecame on home... we got caught in bad rain from collinsville all the way into Kentucky. then just wonds and sprinkles... but on sunday the entire part of Tennessee that we had to travel was FLOODED and in horrid rain mess.
and apparently we still can not load pictures from our computer any more... so I cant help but wonder... is there a different site a better blog place... I have blogged off and on for many years my original blog was a yahoo blog... I have had two here on blogger but I dont like this not being able to load pictures from my computer. How rediculous is that?
well I have been job hunting and am super suprised to see how FEW LPN jobs there are around here ... Iknow it has been in the RN phase that comes around every so many years but sheesh ... I need to go to work like ... last year... GAH. oh well God is in control.
Time to get back to job searching. have a wonderful day! love and hugs.
We did manage to go to Illinois for the funeral we left last thursday evening when Michael got off work. we drove to clarksville tennessee and stopped for the night, then drove the rest of the way in the next day and managed to even rest about an hour before we had to be at the funeral home.
I had to cover my face and laugh... ok giggle a little ... even though it really was not funny. Poor Michael does not wear his dress clothing often. and he has gained some weight. those poor dress pants and that poor suit... Im sure his hips will never recover... thing is he fluxuates so little in size it never even occoured to me that he might not be able to wear them. he hopped he cussed he sucked his gut in and he finally just put his belt on and prayed a little prayer that the pants would make it through the evening. and they did... His suit was even tighter... no tie was going on since the shirt could not be buttoned... and I finally managed to get his suit pants hooked ... HE DID NOT TAKE THEM OFF TILL WE GOT HOME! I could not believe that after the funeral when I ran to change to jeans along with everyone else he said here take my coat I will just ride home in this.
Anyway the visitation was 5 hours for us because we had to be there a bit early... and let me tell you... in 5 hours there was NO slowing of people who came... I have NEVER seen so many except possibly for when Mikes momma passed that was a HUGE bunch too.
The funeral was Saturday morning and again a HUGE croud came. it was one of the nicest funerals I have ever been too, I actually liked what the pastor had to say and the music was fantastic... I had forgotten that Jeannes favorite song is also one of my favorites. and the ride to the cemetary was long but we had dad jordan and judy and ronnie with us so we all chatted up a storm and made the ride pass quickly. (it was a couple towns to the cemetary)
We stayed long enough to enjoy the lunch that the church provided... as the winter storm threat made us all decide to head to our homes right after ... Mike and I had originally planned to stay till sunday... we are so glad w ecame on home... we got caught in bad rain from collinsville all the way into Kentucky. then just wonds and sprinkles... but on sunday the entire part of Tennessee that we had to travel was FLOODED and in horrid rain mess.
and apparently we still can not load pictures from our computer any more... so I cant help but wonder... is there a different site a better blog place... I have blogged off and on for many years my original blog was a yahoo blog... I have had two here on blogger but I dont like this not being able to load pictures from my computer. How rediculous is that?
well I have been job hunting and am super suprised to see how FEW LPN jobs there are around here ... Iknow it has been in the RN phase that comes around every so many years but sheesh ... I need to go to work like ... last year... GAH. oh well God is in control.
Time to get back to job searching. have a wonderful day! love and hugs.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
I am ...
really ticked at my self... I know my photo taking has gone to hell in a handbasket thanks to this stupid cat scratch bullshit with my darn eye but apparently the last time we saw jeannie and dad she eluded all photos the most I got of her in any picture is from knee to foot... and to give a bit of credit to her she did threaten bodily harm to anyone taking her picture.... I thought for sure though that I had taken at least one of her and halo... and I may have done so and simply cant find it right now... which pisses me off ALMOST as much as what ever bull crap Blogger is doing with loading photos from my computer... Anyone KNOW what the hell is up with that.????
Anyway back to real life... It is my sad duty to report that last night my step mother passed away. She as anyone who is on facebook knows has been very very ill since before thanksgiving.... and in the hospital since the monday after thanksgiving...
so until I can get a proper picture loaded... thank you for keeping out family in prayer and
RIP Jeannie Feb20 1950 - Jan 7 2013 you will be very missed!
Anyway back to real life... It is my sad duty to report that last night my step mother passed away. She as anyone who is on facebook knows has been very very ill since before thanksgiving.... and in the hospital since the monday after thanksgiving...
so until I can get a proper picture loaded... thank you for keeping out family in prayer and
RIP Jeannie Feb20 1950 - Jan 7 2013 you will be very missed!
Friday, January 4, 2013
did you know....
that in your stats page it shows what key words or terms are used that come up with hits on your site? that there are some really Bizzare things keeping an eye on your site?
Oh well I decided MANY years ago that I would not put anything on my blog that I would not either say to a persons face or not care if the WHOLE world knew what I was putting ... So suffice it to say yeah I put A LOT out there on here but, always KNOW there is a WHOLE LOT MORE that never makes it on my blog :)
I learned that someone I love is in a federal prison because she made a stupid mistake... Unfortunately unless my daughter changes who she messes with and what she does she may end up somewhere like this woman has... so heartbreaking.
my sinuses are driving me slightly nuttier than normal... so bear with.
Still have not heard anything on my step mother... which disturbs me to an extent.... but, will have to trust that no news is good news.
I am slightly ticked off I bought a new calendar ... never realised that it is a 2012 - 2013.... how does a store ... oh never mind it was walmart after all... It should have clicked in MY head BEFORE i bought it and wrote all in it... gah... damn thing was 7 bucks ... oh get over it already.
welp apparently I can not upload any pictures for your pleasure of veiwing ... come on google/ blogger get it together I am really easy to please.
Have a wonderful 4th of January... all 19 minutes thats left of it.
Oh well I decided MANY years ago that I would not put anything on my blog that I would not either say to a persons face or not care if the WHOLE world knew what I was putting ... So suffice it to say yeah I put A LOT out there on here but, always KNOW there is a WHOLE LOT MORE that never makes it on my blog :)
I learned that someone I love is in a federal prison because she made a stupid mistake... Unfortunately unless my daughter changes who she messes with and what she does she may end up somewhere like this woman has... so heartbreaking.
my sinuses are driving me slightly nuttier than normal... so bear with.
Still have not heard anything on my step mother... which disturbs me to an extent.... but, will have to trust that no news is good news.
I am slightly ticked off I bought a new calendar ... never realised that it is a 2012 - 2013.... how does a store ... oh never mind it was walmart after all... It should have clicked in MY head BEFORE i bought it and wrote all in it... gah... damn thing was 7 bucks ... oh get over it already.
welp apparently I can not upload any pictures for your pleasure of veiwing ... come on google/ blogger get it together I am really easy to please.
Have a wonderful 4th of January... all 19 minutes thats left of it.
I have things.....
I really want to say but, I can't recall if I have told a couple people about my blog... And I really do not want them to read what I have on my mind.
Soooo that being said I will talk / write about something totally unrelated... I got the darn resume done this morning... and after a good bit of cusing and threatening to toss/ throw/ beat with a baseball bat the printer did make me some copies of it. so next comes the filling out of applications... GOD I HATE THIS PROCESS... Bring the job I need to me please!
I went to lunch with Jeanette today... it was nice ... we ended up at Long horn steak house... I think in many states it is called texas roadhouse or something like that... anyway it was delish... then we went to several stores... I needed a new planner/ calendar ... I keep up with bills ext with them and this years did not extend into January to allow me to procrastinate .... sigh... and I needed a toothbrush... apparently Martha got the last I had here when she was here...
I wish I could have someone make shoes to really fit my feet... I have flintstone feet... they are very big and wide... super wide... and even in my WIDE nike shoes my toes feel scrunched and abused after only a short time being in them.... My super expensive New balance that I bought oh.... 10 years back... are actually flipping NARROW and like new since i never wear them... new balance were KNOWN for being wide shoes. My off brand berkenstocks are shot but I got my 12 dollars worth from them... and my poor 5 yr old berks are shot too...in fact both pr of tennis shoes that I own are like new because I rarely wear them.
I wonder... maybe there is a shoe maker in Augusta??? I just dont know.
DEBBIE... check out ABDUCTED on Net flix... we watched it tonight ... Another good choice!
Have I mentioned that my pecan pie... turned out amazing??? I am still totally shocked at how easy it is to make... maybe I will make another in june or something :)
Talked to two different nurses today for mother... and got a message from her dr as i missed his call when I was driving. Shes ok... she still will not speak to me unless she has to... I suspect she feels some guilty.. as she should ... but she will eventually rationalize and what ever burr is up her butt will be my fault... but thats ok... I can take it :)
No word today on step mother... last call I got last night was that she was to have fluid drained off her lungs again... sigh.. find the cause please then you can fix the problem... i hope.
well it is nearly 1 am and I have to get up in the morning...
have a wonderful Friday...
Soooo that being said I will talk / write about something totally unrelated... I got the darn resume done this morning... and after a good bit of cusing and threatening to toss/ throw/ beat with a baseball bat the printer did make me some copies of it. so next comes the filling out of applications... GOD I HATE THIS PROCESS... Bring the job I need to me please!
I went to lunch with Jeanette today... it was nice ... we ended up at Long horn steak house... I think in many states it is called texas roadhouse or something like that... anyway it was delish... then we went to several stores... I needed a new planner/ calendar ... I keep up with bills ext with them and this years did not extend into January to allow me to procrastinate .... sigh... and I needed a toothbrush... apparently Martha got the last I had here when she was here...
I wish I could have someone make shoes to really fit my feet... I have flintstone feet... they are very big and wide... super wide... and even in my WIDE nike shoes my toes feel scrunched and abused after only a short time being in them.... My super expensive New balance that I bought oh.... 10 years back... are actually flipping NARROW and like new since i never wear them... new balance were KNOWN for being wide shoes. My off brand berkenstocks are shot but I got my 12 dollars worth from them... and my poor 5 yr old berks are shot too...in fact both pr of tennis shoes that I own are like new because I rarely wear them.
I wonder... maybe there is a shoe maker in Augusta??? I just dont know.
DEBBIE... check out ABDUCTED on Net flix... we watched it tonight ... Another good choice!
Have I mentioned that my pecan pie... turned out amazing??? I am still totally shocked at how easy it is to make... maybe I will make another in june or something :)
Talked to two different nurses today for mother... and got a message from her dr as i missed his call when I was driving. Shes ok... she still will not speak to me unless she has to... I suspect she feels some guilty.. as she should ... but she will eventually rationalize and what ever burr is up her butt will be my fault... but thats ok... I can take it :)
No word today on step mother... last call I got last night was that she was to have fluid drained off her lungs again... sigh.. find the cause please then you can fix the problem... i hope.
well it is nearly 1 am and I have to get up in the morning...
have a wonderful Friday...
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
28 years ago....
on New years eve I took my father to his FIRST AA meetings... it was an alkathon... 24 hours straight of meetings, coffee, game room, SOBRIETY...
I have my fathers permission by the by to break his anonymity...
I had been sober a bit over a month at the time... and knew if something did not change my dad would be dead soon. I could not bear the thought. granted a little over a year later I went back out for some double checking ... but, not dad he embraced the life and changes and dove in 110% and has never doubted the fact that he was home.
I had a lot of reasons to double check and test ... but tonights not the time to go into them... Point is I am proud of him 28 years clean and sober is FREAKIN AMAZING!
He called a bit ago to tell me how jeannie is doing... shes very depressed... we reminised about oh 26 -27 years back when we met her ... The dr's very confident that she is going to make a full recovery... it's simply going to take a very long time. SO we continue to pray :)
it was a very quiet new years day... just mike and I and net flix and dvds, collards, peas, ham, pecan pie all day... He goes back to work tomorrow :( I have gotten used to having him home and he has gone to the stores with me ... ALL of the ones I went to... this is HUGE people JUST HUGE... and I dont expect it to continue all that often.
I have not talked to mom since thanksgiving... HER choice I have spoken to nurses, doctors, family... and she's in their opinions ... slowly declineing.. well as of feb 7th it will be 8 years since she went into the nursing home, so i think slow decline is NORMAL.
here are a few pictures from 2003 and 04...
this one is dad in the chair and Lto R around him... martha, me cory jeannie and jennifer.... not too long after this was taken jennifer stopped talking to her mom...sigh ...
this is mom it was 2002 taken with my first digital 1.5 mp pen cam... it took really horrid pics but it was the first one out... and I paid a dang fortune for it.
I believe this was the last time she came to my house... .it was 2004. She was falling a lot back then looking back I am pretty sure she was overloaded on drugs... all RX by the way... she had one suit case that was ALL medications.
this was taken in 2003... they used to be so close... it really hurts my heart how they treat each other now.
the original pond... :) the fish were so little... again 2003
well technically this will be my second post for today so ... Happy New Years day! hope you have the best year ever! love & hugs
I have my fathers permission by the by to break his anonymity...
I had been sober a bit over a month at the time... and knew if something did not change my dad would be dead soon. I could not bear the thought. granted a little over a year later I went back out for some double checking ... but, not dad he embraced the life and changes and dove in 110% and has never doubted the fact that he was home.
I had a lot of reasons to double check and test ... but tonights not the time to go into them... Point is I am proud of him 28 years clean and sober is FREAKIN AMAZING!
He called a bit ago to tell me how jeannie is doing... shes very depressed... we reminised about oh 26 -27 years back when we met her ... The dr's very confident that she is going to make a full recovery... it's simply going to take a very long time. SO we continue to pray :)
it was a very quiet new years day... just mike and I and net flix and dvds, collards, peas, ham, pecan pie all day... He goes back to work tomorrow :( I have gotten used to having him home and he has gone to the stores with me ... ALL of the ones I went to... this is HUGE people JUST HUGE... and I dont expect it to continue all that often.
I have not talked to mom since thanksgiving... HER choice I have spoken to nurses, doctors, family... and she's in their opinions ... slowly declineing.. well as of feb 7th it will be 8 years since she went into the nursing home, so i think slow decline is NORMAL.
here are a few pictures from 2003 and 04...
this one is dad in the chair and Lto R around him... martha, me cory jeannie and jennifer.... not too long after this was taken jennifer stopped talking to her mom...sigh ...
there are 9 fish in the pic can you find them all... there were about 20 when this was taken... in 03.. before Mikes mass murder in 04
Happy New Year 2013 :)
I made a pecan Pie, the first ever in my life... it looks delish.
It smells SOOOOOOO yummy but we have resisted cutting it ... till tomorrow...
ummmm today later... and I am NOT beyond pecan pie for Breakfast :)
I have collard greens with pork loin in one crock pot on low...
and Pink eye peas with bacon in another
and a ham in the fridge ready to heat up in the oven in the morning... it only needs a couple hours to warm :)
We are doing the free month of net flix, watched this goofy movie tonight... I think bradley WILL love it as he can watch his favorites... I think they have it at their house and he has his favorite shows...
I however PLAN to watch the ENTIRE umpteen years 143 episodes of BONES ... I LOVE bones... and have never seen MANY MANY so it will be fun to see all.
i have managed to sort about HALF of the photos I loaded from 2003 on.... maybe I will get more of them done today later.... we shall see. cory stephanie and bradley are supposed to come over sometime today and eat :) I have a present for them....
on face book there has been this idea floating around it is what I would call a gratitude jar...
anyway I have a half gallon jar two note pads and pens for them...
and on the jar it says
Write good things on the paper and put them in the jar, supprise gifts, accomplished goals, beauty of nature, laugh out loud moments memories worth keeping, daily blessings... then at the end of 2013 take them all out and read them.... I think in their case and mine as well I may need to take them out at the end of each month ...
anyway I think it will help a lot ... I hope so anyway.
well I did my yearly bring in the new year with my aunt betty via phone, many years we play farkle over the phone... there is a lot of trust involved to not cheat LOL.. we both love to play enough and cant be bothered to cheat...this year we just talked and I got food going and cleaned up.
well I just wanted to pop on and wish you ladies a happy new Year and cant wait to see how things go in 2013!
ummmm today later... and I am NOT beyond pecan pie for Breakfast :)
and Pink eye peas with bacon in another
and a ham in the fridge ready to heat up in the oven in the morning... it only needs a couple hours to warm :)
We are doing the free month of net flix, watched this goofy movie tonight... I think bradley WILL love it as he can watch his favorites... I think they have it at their house and he has his favorite shows...
I however PLAN to watch the ENTIRE umpteen years 143 episodes of BONES ... I LOVE bones... and have never seen MANY MANY so it will be fun to see all.
i have managed to sort about HALF of the photos I loaded from 2003 on.... maybe I will get more of them done today later.... we shall see. cory stephanie and bradley are supposed to come over sometime today and eat :) I have a present for them....
on face book there has been this idea floating around it is what I would call a gratitude jar...
anyway I have a half gallon jar two note pads and pens for them...
and on the jar it says
Write good things on the paper and put them in the jar, supprise gifts, accomplished goals, beauty of nature, laugh out loud moments memories worth keeping, daily blessings... then at the end of 2013 take them all out and read them.... I think in their case and mine as well I may need to take them out at the end of each month ...
anyway I think it will help a lot ... I hope so anyway.
well I did my yearly bring in the new year with my aunt betty via phone, many years we play farkle over the phone... there is a lot of trust involved to not cheat LOL.. we both love to play enough and cant be bothered to cheat...this year we just talked and I got food going and cleaned up.
well I just wanted to pop on and wish you ladies a happy new Year and cant wait to see how things go in 2013!
Monday, December 31, 2012
New years Eve
Well I have spent 10 hours off and on between life and house and bradley and sleep, sorting and going through photos... I MAYBE have half done.
I am sorting them by year... I have what feels like MILLIONS of the plants and fish... SOMEDAY I may decided to delete some MANY ... ALL of the crappy shots lol.
We had Bradley yesterday... that boy... oh dear.
He had pancakes for breakfast, Pizza for late lunch...and he managed to get it all over his face and hands... He said it was really really good.
He does not stop playing angry Birds even when falling over...
He will play until the battery is dead
and he does love the trampoline... he wanted to jump while playing angry birds but I would not let him... and I totally neglected to get a picture of what he brought over.... HE HAS A CLOTHES BASKET FULL of angry bird pillows and toys... the cutest matchbox angry birds cars! the kid is a hoot.
Well, I must go to the store and get some collards.
and a few other things....
I hope you have a wonderful New year and that 2013 is much better than 2012 !
Love and hugs!
I am sorting them by year... I have what feels like MILLIONS of the plants and fish... SOMEDAY I may decided to delete some MANY ... ALL of the crappy shots lol.
We had Bradley yesterday... that boy... oh dear.
Well, I must go to the store and get some collards.
and a few other things....
I hope you have a wonderful New year and that 2013 is much better than 2012 !
Love and hugs!
Sunday, December 30, 2012
50000 photos saved to external drive
yes I have managed thanks to one of Martha's friends to figure out the external back up thingy I had bought YEARS ago and tried and failed to use so had just stuck it in a corner....took Jo all of 3 minutes and two of that was dusting it I do believe ...to have it up and running...
so now to go into it and sort and see and relive those memories... mike and i looked at about 1300 pictures last night... it was really wild to see things from 2003 when I got my first digital camera .... it was a PEN camera that I actually had bought so I could see on the web with my friends... but it took still pictures too and was 1.5 mega pixels... it did not take me too long to graduate to a 3 mp Fuji camera ... then a few years later to Kodak, then another Kodak and now to a Nikon :) I can see many many improvements in my photography and ... good lord my fish REALLY have been photographed more than MADONNA lol.
Bradley will be here in a little while.... Cory and Stephanie are giving themselves a MONTH to see if they can start some major changes in their lives... I am more hopeful than in the past.... so we will pray that they make the changes they need to stick together and make their lives work :)
Martha sent me some really cute pictures of halo opening her B day presents... I'm not positive how to load from my phone to blogger.... maybe I can swipe one off her facebook but, since she is not my friend on FB I don't know.
It took Mike and I 3 stops yesterday to get the WIRES we needed for the DVD Blue ray surround sound thingy... and we need one more as I decided in my sleep that I do not want to deal with wireless and would rather have a LAN line ...If you know what I am speaking of... BLESS YOU... if you don't don't worry ... I kinda sort of do LOL
this is one of my favorite of all time OLD pictures... I was 5 months pregnant with Cory (26 years ago) and we had gone to Charleston... we had so much fun back then :) * Me , MOM, and Mike*
well have tons to accomplish... hope you have a wonderful day maybe I will get these photos sorted by year sometime today :)
so now to go into it and sort and see and relive those memories... mike and i looked at about 1300 pictures last night... it was really wild to see things from 2003 when I got my first digital camera .... it was a PEN camera that I actually had bought so I could see on the web with my friends... but it took still pictures too and was 1.5 mega pixels... it did not take me too long to graduate to a 3 mp Fuji camera ... then a few years later to Kodak, then another Kodak and now to a Nikon :) I can see many many improvements in my photography and ... good lord my fish REALLY have been photographed more than MADONNA lol.
Bradley will be here in a little while.... Cory and Stephanie are giving themselves a MONTH to see if they can start some major changes in their lives... I am more hopeful than in the past.... so we will pray that they make the changes they need to stick together and make their lives work :)
Martha sent me some really cute pictures of halo opening her B day presents... I'm not positive how to load from my phone to blogger.... maybe I can swipe one off her facebook but, since she is not my friend on FB I don't know.
It took Mike and I 3 stops yesterday to get the WIRES we needed for the DVD Blue ray surround sound thingy... and we need one more as I decided in my sleep that I do not want to deal with wireless and would rather have a LAN line ...If you know what I am speaking of... BLESS YOU... if you don't don't worry ... I kinda sort of do LOL
this is one of my favorite of all time OLD pictures... I was 5 months pregnant with Cory (26 years ago) and we had gone to Charleston... we had so much fun back then :) * Me , MOM, and Mike*
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Well, I Tried!
OMG I tried to use google chrome...
I am so confused and discombobulated!!!
I could not find me, yet it said I was me and was there signed in and everything yet,
I was not there and it wanted me to merge me with me and,
I RAN right back to the blue E
I am well and truely scared...
I spent 4 hours last night loading 34 GB of photos from my lap top (and it missed 9 months of 2012 pics) to the verizon backup assistant/ cloud thingy ... only to be told that I would have to pay 6 dollars a month to use it... I ALREADY PAY $145.00 a month for our contracted service... So needless to say ... I ain't.
I already also pay picassa which I do know how to use and have used for years so....
I burned all 16 thousand pics that are on JUST this lap top, that does not include THE BL (before laptop) photos...
I NEED a better way to organise label and store my photos...
I can load disc after disc but for me to seek out one particular photo... I AM SCREWED... If I dont know EXACTLY WHEN it was taken... then odds of me finding it WHEN I WANT IT... are pretty much ZERO.
I ordered some ADORABLE prints from Wally mart they should come soon.
I gave people (who live close) a BAGGY with pancake mix and spiced pears to go on them for christmas... Apparently they were well liked... I know we have enjoyed them .
Michael and I went to the UPS store they would only ship ONE of the canners as sears had only sent one lable (the weight on the lable would cover both) yet they wanted to charge me an arm and leg to put them in a box.... I suggested taping them together and OH NO that won't work... so it came home with us... WHAT A PITA!
we also went to sams.... walked around had a SHORT list of things we were out of... Ended up getting a huge pile of meats which is ok as we were really getting low and I only buy meats once every couple months.
Need to buy some collards today, for new years day.
TODAY OUR BABY GIRL IS 2!!!!
in this picture she was 2 HOURS old :)
love this pic of her, it is sooooo perfect a photo of her and I LOVE that HAIR ... it is a wild thing to be shocked and amazed by.... I have had so many perms over my life time trying to achieve what she will one day HATE! lol
we are not sure what exactly Bradley was doing or thinking but he did have all the critters captured :) *long story there*
What you want the short version of the story??? really LOL ok ask and ye shall recieve.
Halo has this stuffed kitty (the lighter black one he is holding) HE LOVES that stupid kitty...
WE searched the WORLD over for one just like HER kitty... Amazon had ONE, SERIOUSLY ONE identical to hers... for 32 DOLLARS!!! plus shipping and handeling... it is a TY purrrralishious (not sure I have spelled that correctly) from 1992 that we KNOW was bought for 10 dollars or less when Halo was much younger... and of course no one knows exactly Who bought it or WHERE they bought it ...She loves "keys" as she calls it and sleeps with it every night.
anyway... I found the dark black dog... and his momma found the two tone brown kitty... both of whom he likes ... but HE still took hers and hid it
can we say BUSTED as he was shoving his and HER kitty under the cabinet so he could open his presents....he cried when he had to let martha take it and load it along with halos other things... Those two really miss each other... sigh.
I have not heard anything from cory or stephanie so... heres to praying and hoping they decide to work things out then 200% go for it.
well... have sneezed so flipping hard that I must go shower :| have a wonderful day!
and please dont die of shock... I have really Blogged four days in a row : D
I am so confused and discombobulated!!!
I could not find me, yet it said I was me and was there signed in and everything yet,
I was not there and it wanted me to merge me with me and,
I RAN right back to the blue E
I am well and truely scared...
I spent 4 hours last night loading 34 GB of photos from my lap top (and it missed 9 months of 2012 pics) to the verizon backup assistant/ cloud thingy ... only to be told that I would have to pay 6 dollars a month to use it... I ALREADY PAY $145.00 a month for our contracted service... So needless to say ... I ain't.
I already also pay picassa which I do know how to use and have used for years so....
I burned all 16 thousand pics that are on JUST this lap top, that does not include THE BL (before laptop) photos...
I NEED a better way to organise label and store my photos...
I can load disc after disc but for me to seek out one particular photo... I AM SCREWED... If I dont know EXACTLY WHEN it was taken... then odds of me finding it WHEN I WANT IT... are pretty much ZERO.
I ordered some ADORABLE prints from Wally mart they should come soon.
I gave people (who live close) a BAGGY with pancake mix and spiced pears to go on them for christmas... Apparently they were well liked... I know we have enjoyed them .
Michael and I went to the UPS store they would only ship ONE of the canners as sears had only sent one lable (the weight on the lable would cover both) yet they wanted to charge me an arm and leg to put them in a box.... I suggested taping them together and OH NO that won't work... so it came home with us... WHAT A PITA!
we also went to sams.... walked around had a SHORT list of things we were out of... Ended up getting a huge pile of meats which is ok as we were really getting low and I only buy meats once every couple months.
Need to buy some collards today, for new years day.
TODAY OUR BABY GIRL IS 2!!!!
in this picture she was 2 HOURS old :)
we are not sure what exactly Bradley was doing or thinking but he did have all the critters captured :) *long story there*
Halo has this stuffed kitty (the lighter black one he is holding) HE LOVES that stupid kitty...
WE searched the WORLD over for one just like HER kitty... Amazon had ONE, SERIOUSLY ONE identical to hers... for 32 DOLLARS!!! plus shipping and handeling... it is a TY purrrralishious (not sure I have spelled that correctly) from 1992 that we KNOW was bought for 10 dollars or less when Halo was much younger... and of course no one knows exactly Who bought it or WHERE they bought it ...She loves "keys" as she calls it and sleeps with it every night.
anyway... I found the dark black dog... and his momma found the two tone brown kitty... both of whom he likes ... but HE still took hers and hid it
I have not heard anything from cory or stephanie so... heres to praying and hoping they decide to work things out then 200% go for it.
well... have sneezed so flipping hard that I must go shower :| have a wonderful day!
and please dont die of shock... I have really Blogged four days in a row : D
Friday, December 28, 2012
what day of the week is it?
ok it is a Friday... and 450 I am wide awake again.
Apparently Deb and Chris were calling out to me :) love you ladies by the way.
That is my fav pic of the season I have some others that are cute but that is ... just totally Bradley and Halo.
Yes, Martha took Halo back to florida christmas evening. she says we can have her back for a while in the summer time. She also says that is 2014 she is moving to colorado and we can have her for a couple months then. so as things go now we will be long distance grandparents. and as long as Halo is being taken care of and blah blah we can deal with that... We don't get to choose in this situation and it is ok. I am TRYING to be positive and It would be so much easier to do if Martha told the truth to us ...
Cory and Stephanie met last night, to talk and hopefully set some rules, make some plans, decide if she is totally done... I dont know the outcome but am sure they will tell me when they are ready...I hope they can work out their problems and really make the needed changes to make their lives together work.
I talked to the nurse at the nursing home, she called to tell me that mother was having some serious DT's and withdrawels from the vicoden and that the dr DID agree to totally put her back on it. Mother also admitted to being a RX drug addict ... which I already knew ... she has been on something for pain for as long as I can recall... and has always taken a lot of medications. I can remember one trip that she came down to visit many years ago and I actually have the suitcase... it is about as big as a hat box shaped like a teardrop ... anyway it was jam packed FULL of medicines plus she took all the tylenol and motrin that i had in my house... they told her she has some liver damage... shes telling everyone that the hospital told her it was caused by second hand smoke ... Mother was never around much smoke in her life but has taken enough medications in excess to make a drunk look sober. I digress ... I apologise.
anyway... it is safe to say that mother is not doing great she is STILL declining and if she were a cat I'd swear her 13 lives have been used up.... she will out live us all probably, because it is apparent that God knows she is not ready for him and the devil is scared shitless of her. OH DEAR I am digressing again.
I wallowed in self pity all day / evening / night yesterday and I am done with that... time to carry on ... have big plans with mike today... he has a dr appt at 9 i think it is then we must go to the UPS drop store and get these extra pressure canners sent back to sears... I think I told you abotu them sending THREE of them. then, we are going to sams I have a SHORT list of things I need. and then I think we are going to work on setting up the DVD surround sound thingy I got us from santa :) we had one ages ago; it died. the placement and hiding of wiring is a pain in the butt and requires some thought ...
I have some photos to edit and to decide on which to print off... so am about to do that now :) and I MUST find that darn resume... and I think i know right where I put it ... in my cookbooks LOL... yeah my mind is a bit twisted ... but it just hit me. I am 99% sure thats where it is and I had put them in a cabinet for the holidays and had decorated my dry bar with a little 12 inch tree for the kids.
well ladies I am greatful that after all these months you still come around this ole blog and put up with my venting as it is the only thing keeping me at my regular level of insanity.
love hugs and time to carry on .
Apparently Deb and Chris were calling out to me :) love you ladies by the way.
That is my fav pic of the season I have some others that are cute but that is ... just totally Bradley and Halo.
Yes, Martha took Halo back to florida christmas evening. she says we can have her back for a while in the summer time. She also says that is 2014 she is moving to colorado and we can have her for a couple months then. so as things go now we will be long distance grandparents. and as long as Halo is being taken care of and blah blah we can deal with that... We don't get to choose in this situation and it is ok. I am TRYING to be positive and It would be so much easier to do if Martha told the truth to us ...
Cory and Stephanie met last night, to talk and hopefully set some rules, make some plans, decide if she is totally done... I dont know the outcome but am sure they will tell me when they are ready...I hope they can work out their problems and really make the needed changes to make their lives together work.
I talked to the nurse at the nursing home, she called to tell me that mother was having some serious DT's and withdrawels from the vicoden and that the dr DID agree to totally put her back on it. Mother also admitted to being a RX drug addict ... which I already knew ... she has been on something for pain for as long as I can recall... and has always taken a lot of medications. I can remember one trip that she came down to visit many years ago and I actually have the suitcase... it is about as big as a hat box shaped like a teardrop ... anyway it was jam packed FULL of medicines plus she took all the tylenol and motrin that i had in my house... they told her she has some liver damage... shes telling everyone that the hospital told her it was caused by second hand smoke ... Mother was never around much smoke in her life but has taken enough medications in excess to make a drunk look sober. I digress ... I apologise.
anyway... it is safe to say that mother is not doing great she is STILL declining and if she were a cat I'd swear her 13 lives have been used up.... she will out live us all probably, because it is apparent that God knows she is not ready for him and the devil is scared shitless of her. OH DEAR I am digressing again.
I wallowed in self pity all day / evening / night yesterday and I am done with that... time to carry on ... have big plans with mike today... he has a dr appt at 9 i think it is then we must go to the UPS drop store and get these extra pressure canners sent back to sears... I think I told you abotu them sending THREE of them. then, we are going to sams I have a SHORT list of things I need. and then I think we are going to work on setting up the DVD surround sound thingy I got us from santa :) we had one ages ago; it died. the placement and hiding of wiring is a pain in the butt and requires some thought ...
I have some photos to edit and to decide on which to print off... so am about to do that now :) and I MUST find that darn resume... and I think i know right where I put it ... in my cookbooks LOL... yeah my mind is a bit twisted ... but it just hit me. I am 99% sure thats where it is and I had put them in a cabinet for the holidays and had decorated my dry bar with a little 12 inch tree for the kids.
well ladies I am greatful that after all these months you still come around this ole blog and put up with my venting as it is the only thing keeping me at my regular level of insanity.
love hugs and time to carry on .
Thursday, December 27, 2012
just when you thought....
Well.... today marks 3 years since Martha chose to leave home.
Yesterday, Stephanie left Cory.
I am deciding that December is banned.... except for all persons under the age of ... ohhh 5 for now. will increase the age limit as Bradley and Halo age....
My mother MOM is totally and truely addicted to prescription pain meds and has been for 40 years or more... we are attempting to wean her off in hopes of diverting another stomach /intestine shutdown.
my step mother... I have been asked to hold off on telling all that I know until test results are in and confirmed... but it could be very very good or very very bad... so for now we pray...
I love. LOVE...really get a kick out of angry birds.
I tried to turn the tv down last night so it would not wake Halo... then felt sad and stupid realising she cant hear it. sigh.
I am finally mentally ready to go back to work... it may be all that saves me.
I will be getting my resume straight today... if i can remember where the hell i put it. GAH
Jordan and I took Halo to see santa and yes for anyone who wants or needs to know I have the copyright release and can post and print her pictures if I want.
totally not sure why this one loaded sidewise and have not yet figured out how the heck to turn it but at first halo did not want to sit there alone and as you can see above she would not smile when she did agree to sit.
I took all the christmas decor down and put it away for another year.... yesterday, felt a hell of a lot better to not see that crap when all the reason I put it up is not here anymore.... POOR ME...
Speaking of pour me LOL... Stephanies papa T makes a very strong egg nog, I got a cup not realising it was laced very heavily with burbon took a huge gulp and nearly shot it out my nose... I poured the rest of the cup down the sink when he was not looking :) he is a nice older guy and I would not want to hurt his feelings...
I did not clean out halos room yet... I just shut the door... Have not finished the toy/bradleys room yet... have been purging old toys to make room for the new... MAYBE will do that today... or maybe will crawl in the bed... NO, bones hurt too much to stay there... I need to go to the ups store and get the sears mess straight today...
but for now i must get some more coffee and wish you a Happy Dec 27th...
Yesterday, Stephanie left Cory.
I am deciding that December is banned.... except for all persons under the age of ... ohhh 5 for now. will increase the age limit as Bradley and Halo age....
My mother MOM is totally and truely addicted to prescription pain meds and has been for 40 years or more... we are attempting to wean her off in hopes of diverting another stomach /intestine shutdown.
my step mother... I have been asked to hold off on telling all that I know until test results are in and confirmed... but it could be very very good or very very bad... so for now we pray...
I love. LOVE...really get a kick out of angry birds.
I tried to turn the tv down last night so it would not wake Halo... then felt sad and stupid realising she cant hear it. sigh.
I am finally mentally ready to go back to work... it may be all that saves me.
I will be getting my resume straight today... if i can remember where the hell i put it. GAH
totally not sure why this one loaded sidewise and have not yet figured out how the heck to turn it but at first halo did not want to sit there alone and as you can see above she would not smile when she did agree to sit.
Speaking of pour me LOL... Stephanies papa T makes a very strong egg nog, I got a cup not realising it was laced very heavily with burbon took a huge gulp and nearly shot it out my nose... I poured the rest of the cup down the sink when he was not looking :) he is a nice older guy and I would not want to hurt his feelings...
I did not clean out halos room yet... I just shut the door... Have not finished the toy/bradleys room yet... have been purging old toys to make room for the new... MAYBE will do that today... or maybe will crawl in the bed... NO, bones hurt too much to stay there... I need to go to the ups store and get the sears mess straight today...
but for now i must get some more coffee and wish you a Happy Dec 27th...
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Post Christmas Depression
and so the depression begins...
Christmas was pretty drama less(which is a very very good thing)...Martha came over a bit after three, no real mention was made of the night before and the BS that it entailed. Cory, Stephanie, and Bradley came shortly there after and by 530 all of them had left...maybe it was 6, I don't know, anyway... this rain is something else it has been pouring for over a day and is expected to continue for several more... My arthritic shoulders are killing me... I cant sleep or if I do sleep its not good sleep.
Halo Got right into unwrapping :)
and Having some sugar for breakfast
and for lunch we had an assortment of amazing smoked meats, mac and cheese, Greenbeans (not in the pic) bread pudding and deviled eggs ... it was delish :)
Papa kept the paper and trash chaos to a minimum
Bradley kept close watch on HIS and Halos stuffed pets
Jordan came to see martha for a minute before she left... and to love on halo she is very faithful to Halo and a wonderful person.
It appears that I need to be calling ups to come pick up the stuff I bought for us for Christmas as sears bungled ... I ordered ONE pressure canner received THREE so TWO need to go back... Indian woman sent ONE return shipping label... TOLD her there are THREE separate boxes and TWO need to go ...sigh.
the blue ray surround sound SAID it is wireless but, it has wires for the speakers... so it needs to go back.
And did I mention the rain??? it is really flooding out there will be interesting to see how badly things have washed with all the work mike has been doing in the back.
I need to retype and update my resume 2013 and it is back to work for me. I am drowning in medical bill debt.
the nursing home called last night, early evening... just after the kids had all left... somehow mother was sent back to them with no pain medication order and they were having trouble getting one... so I called the on call dr and with in a minute had him calling them placing the order... he was very nice. So I guess she will be feeling better and they will not be going nuts dealing with her withdrawals and pain and above and beyond normal complaining.... I sort of feel bad I have not actually spoken to her since thanksgiving... have spoken through nurses ect but, that's how life goes.
Step mom is feeling a little better she is very very weak which is totally expected after all shes been through. I hope this place she is at (supposed to be the best for rehab) really does good for her. My father needs her as does Jordan. Will just hope and pray she does well.
Hope you all had the merriest of Christmases and Have a happy relaxing rest of the year! :)
Christmas was pretty drama less(which is a very very good thing)...Martha came over a bit after three, no real mention was made of the night before and the BS that it entailed. Cory, Stephanie, and Bradley came shortly there after and by 530 all of them had left...maybe it was 6, I don't know, anyway... this rain is something else it has been pouring for over a day and is expected to continue for several more... My arthritic shoulders are killing me... I cant sleep or if I do sleep its not good sleep.
It appears that I need to be calling ups to come pick up the stuff I bought for us for Christmas as sears bungled ... I ordered ONE pressure canner received THREE so TWO need to go back... Indian woman sent ONE return shipping label... TOLD her there are THREE separate boxes and TWO need to go ...sigh.
the blue ray surround sound SAID it is wireless but, it has wires for the speakers... so it needs to go back.
And did I mention the rain??? it is really flooding out there will be interesting to see how badly things have washed with all the work mike has been doing in the back.
I need to retype and update my resume 2013 and it is back to work for me. I am drowning in medical bill debt.
the nursing home called last night, early evening... just after the kids had all left... somehow mother was sent back to them with no pain medication order and they were having trouble getting one... so I called the on call dr and with in a minute had him calling them placing the order... he was very nice. So I guess she will be feeling better and they will not be going nuts dealing with her withdrawals and pain and above and beyond normal complaining.... I sort of feel bad I have not actually spoken to her since thanksgiving... have spoken through nurses ect but, that's how life goes.
Step mom is feeling a little better she is very very weak which is totally expected after all shes been through. I hope this place she is at (supposed to be the best for rehab) really does good for her. My father needs her as does Jordan. Will just hope and pray she does well.
Hope you all had the merriest of Christmases and Have a happy relaxing rest of the year! :)
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Merry Christmas Vent
Oh Hush I Know I have not blogged since April, I am sorry.
First I would like to wish all who read this a Merry Christmas!
And, Issue a warning... RUN NOW the rest of this is a vent/ bitch session that I don't care how many years it takes for the proper people to read but, When they finally do I hope they grow the hell up and realise that MY LIFE and MY FRIENDS lives do NOT revolve around them.
Ok here's the deal, Oct 29th Cory and I drove to Florida to get Martha and Halo.
2 days before thanksgiving Martha hopped on a bus to go back to Florida.
Halo has been here with us and we have totally enjoyed her. She is the most fun, funny baby.
The situation WHAT EVER it is in Florida is not a great one for Halo as things are too unstable. Martha is not YET where she needs to be to be able to do all she needs to do for her child.
HOWEVER,
I refuse to keep Halo from Martha, WHICH HAS BEEN SUGGESTED MANY TIMES....
SO
fast forward to yesterday. Christmas eve 2012
Martha managed to rent a car and heads up here... on a good day with no traffic fastest time to drive it is 7 hours (according to mikes mom) when Cory and I drove it it took us 10 hours one way.
ANYWAY... at 9 pm Martha texts me says they are in Augusta she is dropping him off, going to see a friend, then will be here.
At 10 30 ish I get a text from a friend (wont say if it was MY friend or HER friend or perhaps even one of Lori's friends...telling me that they thought Martha was coming to see/ take Halo what the F is she doing in Augusta at Denney's with Lori?
to which I reply, well she is her aunt and they are talking again so maybe they met up.
to which the person says Oh ... I'm sorry.
so at 11 ish I ask Martha when she plans to come to the house as it is getting late and we are tired.
I get told that i am trying to argue...
finally decided to tell her that I know shes with Lori and I don't care that I hate she feels the need to lie that she could have come seen Halo and gone out all night would have been fine as she is grown.
to which I get a bunch of texts basically saying she knows I stalk facebook and how I failed her test (totally a Lori line) to which I again tell her I don't care who / where / when shes with anyone as she is grown but since she is planning on staying at my house she needs to respect me and it....
so on and on the shit goes.
BUT my point is this....
I really do not care who she is with , where she lives, what she does as SHE IS GROWN and has to make her own choices and LIVE with the things that happen from those choices... MY CONCERN, MY CARE, MY HEART is WITH HALO and YES I am very concerned with Martha dragging Halo back to Florida when she is not in a stable home does not have a car does not have medical insurance for Halo.... and IF all of that makes me a bad MOTHER/ GRANDMOTHER then YES I AM BAD.
So that being vented ... NO Martha did not come stay at my house but, will come sometime today and take Halo and that will be Christmas.
You know I have missed Venting On my blog but, I truly have not felt like taking the time to bore everyone to death with my life and the BS that goes on in it and I really do believe that if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing and I HAVE NOT HAD MUCH NICE TO SAY FOR A LONG TIME....
I do have a lot of news however so will hit those things
My step mother Jeannie has been in the ICU for a month, Thursday she was taken to an acute long term care facility. Jeannie is 62 not 65 like i thought... Yesterday at St Anthony's Hospital in St Louis they DRAINED 1/2 gallon plus a pint of fluid off Jeannie's lungs!!! they did a cat scan and x rays and were supposed to do a sonogram... Dad (is 76) says he thinks she will go home in 2 weeks... I don't see how... then he says I don't think my insurance will pay for longer.... WHAT THE F U C K! so for all you pray'ers out there PRAY HARD for THEM that she does get her miracle and goes home healthier and takes much better care of herself in the future.
their car wreck from the Friday after thanksgiving, still has not been settled ...(the wreck and her being in the hospital are NOT related)
My mother Jean (yeah I know confusing) better known as MOM or the woman who adopted me / raised me blah blah... who lives in Hannibal has also been in the hospital... HER STOMACH WENT TO SLEEP and stopped working... she has had her intestines go to sleep before so ... this falls under the nothing surprises me much other than how this woman who has visited deaths door more times than I can count is still living. She went back to the nursing home yesterday (Christmas eve) she did not want to go as she gets a lot more attention in the hospital.
My baby cousin Todd (hes grown and has his own child) but he is the youngest of the 5 grands on my dads side... is taking a new chemo supposed to have really bad side effects, he is feeling good not having the side effects at all so those prayers are being answered... now for the chemo to get rid of the cancer!
Cory is an EMT now he does double duty no triple duty he dispatches, he does 911 calls and he does transports and specials... he works all the time and mostly LOVES his career change... I am glad he is not working as a police man any more... it is really really a dangerous and scary job!
Stephanie got her Cosmetology license and is working at the ummm what do you call high class hoity toity cost a lot but get of hell of a hair job place ... anyway she loves it and still does work at the restaurant a few days a week too...
Bradley... OH what a doll he is growing up so fast but is such a loving boy, when he is not being a little turd.... he is 3 this year and very excited to see Santa clause come. He is going to speech therapy and really doing good, there are still times when he is excited and gets to speed talking and I have to tell him SLOW DOWN GRANDMA CANT HEAR THAT FAST!
He and Halo OH MY WORD so funny together, Jo took some fantastic pictures of them two days ago so when I get them from her will Post them, she is a pro FOR REAL :)
Halo well that kid is growing like a little weed and talking up a storm and so freakin cute and loving... she walks around saying I LOVE I LOVE I Love PAPA, or Granma or ELMO or Blankie or cookie it is sooooo cute. She loves it here loves her routine. how many babies do you know will stop playing grab her toys and blankie tell you night night and go to her room ON TIME for her nap or at night??? she is pretty consistent about it and cracks me up often...
She is fiercely independent and opinionated... IMAGINE that... and yes we will go crazier with worry about her and will miss her something awful but, hopefully it will not be long till she comes back to see us.
As for ME, The retina specialest (I went the 19th) says my eye is as good as it is going to get and to protect my GOOD eye ... What i can see I see fine what I can not see simply ... there is nothing there so the optic nerve damage is perminant. I go back in a year. I do however need new glasses so will be going one day in the next few weeks and get that taken care of.
The Infectious diease dr, Still has me taking antibotics IT HAS BEEN A FULL YEAR now... 600 mg azithromycin a day... he says, KEEP TAKING THEM... at least another 6 months maybe longer. He says we have stopped the diease process but we are in uncharted territory and he wants to make sure this never comes back or comes to my right eye... I Agree.
The neurologist I need to call ... and adjust my meds they LYRICA is a wonder drug for me but is INSANELY expensive... I dont go see her till june I think.
the Endocrine dr is simply HAPPY with me and how I am doing she is tickled pink over a lot of stuff and a really wonderful woman. I dont see again her till summer.
I have been teaching my self to can ... with some early morning phone calls to my cooking pals for help and advice... LOVE you PALs! I made spiced pears, Pickled watermellon rinds, Lime pickles, and green beans. I also put up white acre peas, lima beans, Corn and pink eye peas ... for Christmas I wanted and got a pressure canner for the things that need higher temps ... am excited to get to try it out .
anyway IF you have read all this BLESS YOU and Love YOU. Merry Christmas and I promise to TRY To be a better blogger!
First I would like to wish all who read this a Merry Christmas!
And, Issue a warning... RUN NOW the rest of this is a vent/ bitch session that I don't care how many years it takes for the proper people to read but, When they finally do I hope they grow the hell up and realise that MY LIFE and MY FRIENDS lives do NOT revolve around them.
Ok here's the deal, Oct 29th Cory and I drove to Florida to get Martha and Halo.
2 days before thanksgiving Martha hopped on a bus to go back to Florida.
Halo has been here with us and we have totally enjoyed her. She is the most fun, funny baby.
The situation WHAT EVER it is in Florida is not a great one for Halo as things are too unstable. Martha is not YET where she needs to be to be able to do all she needs to do for her child.
HOWEVER,
I refuse to keep Halo from Martha, WHICH HAS BEEN SUGGESTED MANY TIMES....
SO
fast forward to yesterday. Christmas eve 2012
Martha managed to rent a car and heads up here... on a good day with no traffic fastest time to drive it is 7 hours (according to mikes mom) when Cory and I drove it it took us 10 hours one way.
ANYWAY... at 9 pm Martha texts me says they are in Augusta she is dropping him off, going to see a friend, then will be here.
At 10 30 ish I get a text from a friend (wont say if it was MY friend or HER friend or perhaps even one of Lori's friends...telling me that they thought Martha was coming to see/ take Halo what the F is she doing in Augusta at Denney's with Lori?
to which I reply, well she is her aunt and they are talking again so maybe they met up.
to which the person says Oh ... I'm sorry.
so at 11 ish I ask Martha when she plans to come to the house as it is getting late and we are tired.
I get told that i am trying to argue...
finally decided to tell her that I know shes with Lori and I don't care that I hate she feels the need to lie that she could have come seen Halo and gone out all night would have been fine as she is grown.
to which I get a bunch of texts basically saying she knows I stalk facebook and how I failed her test (totally a Lori line) to which I again tell her I don't care who / where / when shes with anyone as she is grown but since she is planning on staying at my house she needs to respect me and it....
so on and on the shit goes.
BUT my point is this....
I really do not care who she is with , where she lives, what she does as SHE IS GROWN and has to make her own choices and LIVE with the things that happen from those choices... MY CONCERN, MY CARE, MY HEART is WITH HALO and YES I am very concerned with Martha dragging Halo back to Florida when she is not in a stable home does not have a car does not have medical insurance for Halo.... and IF all of that makes me a bad MOTHER/ GRANDMOTHER then YES I AM BAD.
So that being vented ... NO Martha did not come stay at my house but, will come sometime today and take Halo and that will be Christmas.
You know I have missed Venting On my blog but, I truly have not felt like taking the time to bore everyone to death with my life and the BS that goes on in it and I really do believe that if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing and I HAVE NOT HAD MUCH NICE TO SAY FOR A LONG TIME....
I do have a lot of news however so will hit those things
My step mother Jeannie has been in the ICU for a month, Thursday she was taken to an acute long term care facility. Jeannie is 62 not 65 like i thought... Yesterday at St Anthony's Hospital in St Louis they DRAINED 1/2 gallon plus a pint of fluid off Jeannie's lungs!!! they did a cat scan and x rays and were supposed to do a sonogram... Dad (is 76) says he thinks she will go home in 2 weeks... I don't see how... then he says I don't think my insurance will pay for longer.... WHAT THE F U C K! so for all you pray'ers out there PRAY HARD for THEM that she does get her miracle and goes home healthier and takes much better care of herself in the future.
their car wreck from the Friday after thanksgiving, still has not been settled ...(the wreck and her being in the hospital are NOT related)
My mother Jean (yeah I know confusing) better known as MOM or the woman who adopted me / raised me blah blah... who lives in Hannibal has also been in the hospital... HER STOMACH WENT TO SLEEP and stopped working... she has had her intestines go to sleep before so ... this falls under the nothing surprises me much other than how this woman who has visited deaths door more times than I can count is still living. She went back to the nursing home yesterday (Christmas eve) she did not want to go as she gets a lot more attention in the hospital.
My baby cousin Todd (hes grown and has his own child) but he is the youngest of the 5 grands on my dads side... is taking a new chemo supposed to have really bad side effects, he is feeling good not having the side effects at all so those prayers are being answered... now for the chemo to get rid of the cancer!
Cory is an EMT now he does double duty no triple duty he dispatches, he does 911 calls and he does transports and specials... he works all the time and mostly LOVES his career change... I am glad he is not working as a police man any more... it is really really a dangerous and scary job!
Stephanie got her Cosmetology license and is working at the ummm what do you call high class hoity toity cost a lot but get of hell of a hair job place ... anyway she loves it and still does work at the restaurant a few days a week too...
Bradley... OH what a doll he is growing up so fast but is such a loving boy, when he is not being a little turd.... he is 3 this year and very excited to see Santa clause come. He is going to speech therapy and really doing good, there are still times when he is excited and gets to speed talking and I have to tell him SLOW DOWN GRANDMA CANT HEAR THAT FAST!
He and Halo OH MY WORD so funny together, Jo took some fantastic pictures of them two days ago so when I get them from her will Post them, she is a pro FOR REAL :)
Halo well that kid is growing like a little weed and talking up a storm and so freakin cute and loving... she walks around saying I LOVE I LOVE I Love PAPA, or Granma or ELMO or Blankie or cookie it is sooooo cute. She loves it here loves her routine. how many babies do you know will stop playing grab her toys and blankie tell you night night and go to her room ON TIME for her nap or at night??? she is pretty consistent about it and cracks me up often...
She is fiercely independent and opinionated... IMAGINE that... and yes we will go crazier with worry about her and will miss her something awful but, hopefully it will not be long till she comes back to see us.
As for ME, The retina specialest (I went the 19th) says my eye is as good as it is going to get and to protect my GOOD eye ... What i can see I see fine what I can not see simply ... there is nothing there so the optic nerve damage is perminant. I go back in a year. I do however need new glasses so will be going one day in the next few weeks and get that taken care of.
The Infectious diease dr, Still has me taking antibotics IT HAS BEEN A FULL YEAR now... 600 mg azithromycin a day... he says, KEEP TAKING THEM... at least another 6 months maybe longer. He says we have stopped the diease process but we are in uncharted territory and he wants to make sure this never comes back or comes to my right eye... I Agree.
The neurologist I need to call ... and adjust my meds they LYRICA is a wonder drug for me but is INSANELY expensive... I dont go see her till june I think.
the Endocrine dr is simply HAPPY with me and how I am doing she is tickled pink over a lot of stuff and a really wonderful woman. I dont see again her till summer.
I have been teaching my self to can ... with some early morning phone calls to my cooking pals for help and advice... LOVE you PALs! I made spiced pears, Pickled watermellon rinds, Lime pickles, and green beans. I also put up white acre peas, lima beans, Corn and pink eye peas ... for Christmas I wanted and got a pressure canner for the things that need higher temps ... am excited to get to try it out .
anyway IF you have read all this BLESS YOU and Love YOU. Merry Christmas and I promise to TRY To be a better blogger!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Its wednesday.... who knew
I am not really liking this new blogger set up, I know its supposed to be so much easier and more organised but, to me its a royal pain in the butt. I will adjust eventually but for now not liking it so much...
I had a moment last night where I was watching Michael playing with Halo where I had to wonder what others find the most appealing in a man... I do believe I found it in Michael ...
the photo speaks for itself.
Have a blessed day, God bless you and keep you until we meet again.
I had a moment last night where I was watching Michael playing with Halo where I had to wonder what others find the most appealing in a man... I do believe I found it in Michael ...
the photo speaks for itself.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
wow now i must learn this new thing.... it will be ok
In time.
mike has built the kids a new play area that sits between the pond and where the pool will be... I LOVE IT, the kids love it. Halo fights to stay out side.
Bradley does too.
We are all well and I will eventually get back into blogging right now i am simply uninspired so taking an obvious break.
love n hugs
God bless you and keep you :)
In time.
Bradley does too.
We are all well and I will eventually get back into blogging right now i am simply uninspired so taking an obvious break.
love n hugs
God bless you and keep you :)
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