New years Eve

Well I have spent 10 hours off and on between life and house and bradley and sleep, sorting and going through photos... I MAYBE have half done.

I am sorting them by year... I have what feels like MILLIONS of the plants and fish... SOMEDAY I may decided to delete some MANY ... ALL of the crappy shots lol.

We had Bradley yesterday... that boy... oh dear.

 He had pancakes for breakfast, Pizza for late lunch...and he managed to get it all over his face and hands... He said it was really really good.

 He does not stop playing angry Birds even when falling over...

 He will play until the battery is dead

and he does love the trampoline... he wanted to jump while playing angry birds but I would not let him... and I totally neglected to get a picture of what he brought over.... HE HAS A CLOTHES BASKET FULL of angry bird pillows and toys... the cutest matchbox angry birds cars!   the kid is a hoot.

Well, I must go to the store and get some collards.
and a few other things....
I hope you have a wonderful New year and that 2013 is much better than 2012 ! 
Love and hugs!

50000 photos saved to external drive

yes I have managed thanks to one of Martha's friends to figure out the external back up thingy I had bought YEARS ago and tried and failed to use so had just stuck it in a corner....took Jo all of 3 minutes and two of that was dusting it I do believe ...to have it up and running...

so now to go into it and sort and see and relive those memories... mike and i looked at about 1300 pictures last night... it was really wild to see things from 2003 when I got my first digital camera .... it was a PEN camera that I actually had bought so I could see on the web with my friends... but it took still pictures too and was 1.5 mega pixels... it did not take me too long to graduate to a 3 mp Fuji camera ... then a few years later to Kodak,  then another Kodak and now to a Nikon :)  I can see many  many improvements in my photography and ... good lord my fish REALLY have been photographed more than MADONNA lol.

Bradley will be here in a little while.... Cory and Stephanie are giving themselves a MONTH to see if they can start some major changes in their lives... I am more hopeful than in the past.... so we will pray that they make the changes they need to stick together and make their lives work :)

Martha sent me some really cute pictures of halo opening her B day presents... I'm not positive how to load from my phone to blogger.... maybe I can swipe one off her facebook but, since she is not my friend on FB I don't know.

It took Mike and I 3 stops yesterday to get the WIRES we needed for the DVD Blue ray surround sound thingy... and we need one more as I decided in my sleep that  I do not want to deal with wireless and would rather have a LAN line ...If you know what I am speaking of... BLESS YOU... if you don't don't worry ... I kinda sort of do LOL

this is one of my favorite of all time OLD pictures... I was 5 months pregnant with Cory (26 years ago) and we had gone to Charleston... we had so much fun back then :)    * Me , MOM, and Mike*

well have tons to accomplish... hope you have a wonderful day maybe I will get these photos sorted by year sometime today :)

Well, I Tried!

OMG I tried to use google chrome...
I am so confused and discombobulated!!!
I could not find me, yet it said I was me and was there signed in and everything yet,
I was not there and it wanted me to merge me with me and,
I RAN right back to the blue E

I am well and truely scared...

I spent 4 hours last night loading 34 GB of photos from my lap top (and it missed 9 months of 2012 pics) to the verizon backup assistant/ cloud thingy ... only to be told that I would have to pay 6 dollars a month to use it... I ALREADY PAY  $145.00 a month for our contracted service... So needless to say ... I ain't.

I already also pay picassa which I do know how to use and have used for years so....

I burned all 16 thousand pics that are on JUST this lap top, that does not include THE BL (before laptop) photos...

I NEED a better way to organise label and store my photos...

I can load disc after disc but for me to seek out one particular photo... I AM SCREWED... If I dont know EXACTLY WHEN it was taken... then odds of me finding it WHEN I WANT IT... are pretty much ZERO.

I ordered some ADORABLE prints from Wally mart they should come soon.

I gave people (who live close) a BAGGY with pancake mix and spiced pears to go on them for christmas... Apparently they were well liked... I know we have enjoyed them .

Michael and I went to the UPS store they would only ship ONE of the canners as sears had only sent one lable (the weight on the lable would cover both) yet they wanted to charge me an arm and leg to put them in a box.... I suggested taping them together and OH NO that won't work... so it came home with us... WHAT A PITA!

we also went to sams.... walked around had a SHORT list of things we were out of... Ended up getting a huge pile of meats which is ok as we were really getting low and I only buy meats once every couple months. 

Need to buy some collards today, for new years day.

TODAY OUR BABY GIRL IS 2!!!!
in this picture she was 2 HOURS old :)

 love this pic of her, it is sooooo perfect a photo of her and I LOVE that HAIR ... it is a wild thing to be shocked and amazed by.... I have had so many perms over my life time trying to achieve what she will one day HATE! lol
we are not sure what exactly Bradley was doing or thinking but he did have all the critters captured :) *long story there*

What you want the short version of the story??? really  LOL ok ask and ye shall recieve.
Halo has this stuffed kitty (the lighter black one he is holding)  HE LOVES that stupid kitty...
WE searched the WORLD over for one just like HER kitty... Amazon had ONE, SERIOUSLY ONE identical to hers... for 32 DOLLARS!!! plus shipping and handeling... it is a TY purrrralishious (not sure I have spelled that correctly) from 1992 that we KNOW was bought for 10 dollars or less when Halo was much younger... and of course no one knows exactly Who bought it or WHERE they bought it ...She loves "keys" as she calls it and sleeps with it every night.

anyway... I found the dark black dog... and his momma found the two tone brown kitty... both of whom he likes ... but HE still took hers and hid it

can we say BUSTED as he was shoving his and HER kitty under the cabinet so he could open his presents....he cried when he had to let martha take it and load it along with halos other things... Those two really miss each other... sigh.

I have not heard anything from cory or stephanie so... heres to praying and hoping they decide to work things out then 200% go for it.

well... have sneezed so flipping hard that I must go shower :|   have a wonderful day!

and please dont die of shock... I have really Blogged four days in a row : D

what day of the week is it?

ok it is a Friday... and 450 I am wide awake again.
Apparently Deb and Chris were calling out to me :)  love you ladies by the way.

That is my fav pic of the season I have some others that are cute but that is ... just totally Bradley and Halo.

Yes, Martha took Halo back to florida christmas evening.  she says we can have her back for a while in the summer time.  She also says that is 2014 she is moving to colorado and we can have her for a couple months then.  so as things go now we will be long distance grandparents.  and as long as Halo is being taken care of and blah blah we can deal with that... We don't get to choose in this situation and it is ok.  I am TRYING to be positive and It would be so much easier to do if Martha told the truth to us ...

Cory and Stephanie met last night, to talk and hopefully set some rules, make some plans, decide if she is totally done... I dont know the outcome but am sure they will tell me when they are ready...I hope they can work out their problems and really make the needed changes to make their lives together work.

I talked to the nurse at the nursing home, she called to tell me that mother was having some serious DT's and withdrawels from the vicoden and that the dr DID agree to totally put her back on it.  Mother also admitted to being a RX drug addict ... which I already knew ... she has been on something for pain for as long as I can recall... and has always taken a lot of medications.   I can remember one trip that she came down to visit many years ago and I actually have the suitcase... it is about as big as a hat box shaped like a teardrop ... anyway it was jam packed FULL of medicines plus she took all the tylenol and motrin that i had in my house... they told her she has some liver damage... shes telling everyone that the hospital told her it was caused by second hand smoke ... Mother was never around much smoke in her life but has taken enough medications in excess to make a drunk look sober.  I digress ... I apologise.

anyway... it is safe to say that mother is not doing great she is STILL declining and if she were a cat I'd swear her 13 lives have been used up.... she will out live us all  probably, because it is apparent that God knows she is not ready for him and the devil is scared shitless of her.  OH DEAR I am digressing again.

I wallowed in self pity all day / evening / night yesterday and I am done with that... time to carry on ... have big plans with mike today... he has a dr appt at 9 i think it is then we must go to the UPS drop store and get these extra pressure canners sent back to sears... I think I told you abotu them sending THREE of them.  then, we are going to sams I have a SHORT list of things I need.  and then I think we are going to work on setting up the DVD surround sound thingy I got us from santa :)  we had one ages ago; it died. the placement and hiding of wiring is a pain in the butt and requires some thought ...

I have some photos to edit and to decide on which to print off... so am about to do that now :)  and I MUST find that darn resume... and I think i know right where I put it ... in my cookbooks LOL... yeah my mind is a bit twisted ... but it just hit me.  I am 99%  sure thats where it is and I had put them in a cabinet for the holidays and had decorated my dry bar with a little 12 inch tree for the kids.

well ladies I am greatful that after all these months you still come around this ole blog and put up with my venting as it is the only thing keeping me at my regular level of insanity.
love hugs and time to carry on .

just when you thought....

Well.... today marks 3 years since Martha chose to leave home. 

Yesterday, Stephanie left Cory.

I am deciding that December is banned.... except for all persons under the age of ... ohhh 5 for now.  will increase the age limit as Bradley and Halo age....

My mother MOM is totally and truely addicted to prescription pain meds and has been for 40 years or more... we are attempting to wean her off in hopes of diverting another stomach /intestine shutdown. 

my step mother... I have been asked to hold off on telling all that I know until test results are in and confirmed... but it could be very very good or very very bad... so for now we pray...


I love.  LOVE...really get a kick out of angry birds.

I tried to turn the tv down last night so it would not wake Halo... then felt sad and stupid realising she cant hear it.  sigh.

I am finally mentally ready to go back to work... it may be all that saves me.

I will be getting my resume straight today... if i can remember where the hell i put it.  GAH

Jordan and I took Halo to see santa and yes for anyone who wants or needs to know I have the copyright release and can post and print her pictures if I want.
 totally not sure why this one loaded sidewise and have not yet figured out how the heck to turn it but at first halo did not want to sit there alone and  as you can see above she would not smile when she did agree to sit.

 I took all the christmas decor down and put it away for another year.... yesterday, felt a hell of a lot better to not see that crap when all the reason I put it up is not here anymore.... POOR ME...

Speaking of pour me LOL... Stephanies papa T makes a very strong egg nog, I got a cup not realising it was laced very heavily with burbon took a huge gulp and nearly shot it out my nose... I poured the rest of the cup down the sink when he was not looking :) he is a nice older guy and I would not want to hurt his feelings...

I did not clean out halos room yet... I just shut the door... Have not finished the toy/bradleys room yet... have been purging old toys to make room for the new... MAYBE will do that today... or maybe will crawl in the bed... NO, bones hurt too much to stay there... I need to go to the ups store and get the sears mess straight today...

but for now i must get some more coffee and wish you a Happy Dec 27th...

Post Christmas Depression

and so the depression  begins...

Christmas was pretty drama less(which is a very very good thing)...Martha came over a bit after three, no real mention was made of the night before and the BS that it entailed.  Cory, Stephanie, and Bradley came shortly there after and by 530 all of them had left...maybe it was 6, I don't know, anyway... this rain is something else it has been pouring for over a day and is expected to continue for several more... My arthritic shoulders are killing me... I cant sleep or if I do sleep its not good sleep.

 Halo Got right into  unwrapping :)

 and Having some sugar for breakfast

 and for lunch we had an assortment of amazing smoked meats, mac and cheese, Greenbeans (not in the pic) bread pudding and deviled eggs ... it was delish :)

 Papa kept the paper and trash chaos to a minimum

 Bradley kept close watch on HIS and Halos stuffed pets

 Jordan came to see martha for a minute before she left... and to love on halo she is very faithful to Halo and a wonderful person.

It appears that I need to be calling ups to come pick up the stuff I bought for us for Christmas as sears bungled ... I ordered ONE pressure canner received THREE so TWO need to go back... Indian woman sent ONE return shipping label... TOLD her there are THREE separate boxes and TWO need to go ...sigh.

the blue ray surround sound SAID it is wireless but, it has wires for the speakers... so it needs to go back.

And did I mention the rain??? it is really flooding out there will be interesting to see how badly things have washed with all the work mike has been doing in the back.

I need to retype and update my resume 2013 and it is back to work for me.  I am drowning in medical bill debt.

the nursing home called last night, early evening... just after the kids had all left... somehow mother was sent back to them with no pain medication order and they were having trouble getting one... so I called the on call dr and with in a minute had him calling them placing the order... he was very nice.  So I guess she will be feeling better and they will not be going nuts dealing with her withdrawals and pain and above and beyond normal complaining.... I sort of feel bad I have not actually spoken to her since thanksgiving... have spoken through nurses ect but, that's how life goes.

Step mom is feeling a little better she is very very weak which is totally expected after all shes been through. I hope this place she is at (supposed to be the best for  rehab) really does good for her.  My father needs her as does Jordan.  Will just hope and pray she does well.

Hope you all had the merriest of Christmases and Have a happy relaxing rest of the year! :)

Merry Christmas Vent

Oh Hush I Know I have not blogged since April,  I am sorry. 
First I would like to wish all who read this a Merry Christmas!

And, Issue a warning... RUN NOW the rest of this is a vent/ bitch session that I don't care how many years it takes for the proper people to read but, When they finally do I hope they grow the hell up and realise that MY LIFE and MY FRIENDS lives do NOT revolve around them.

Ok here's the deal, Oct 29th Cory and I drove to Florida to get Martha and Halo.

2 days before thanksgiving Martha hopped on a bus to go back to Florida.

Halo has been here with us and we have totally enjoyed her. She is the most fun, funny baby.

The situation WHAT EVER it is in Florida is not a great one for Halo as things are too unstable.  Martha is not YET where she needs to be to be able to do all she needs to do for her child.

HOWEVER,
I refuse to keep Halo from Martha, WHICH HAS BEEN SUGGESTED MANY TIMES....

SO
fast forward to yesterday.  Christmas eve 2012

Martha managed to rent a car and heads up here... on a good day with no traffic fastest time to drive it is 7 hours (according to mikes mom) when Cory and I drove it it took us 10 hours one way.

ANYWAY... at 9 pm Martha texts me says they are in Augusta she is dropping him off, going to see a friend, then will be here.

At 10 30 ish I get a text from a friend (wont say if it was MY friend or HER friend or perhaps even one of Lori's friends...telling me that they thought Martha was coming to see/ take Halo what the F is she doing in Augusta at Denney's with Lori?

to which I reply, well she is her aunt and they are talking again so maybe they met up.
to which the person says Oh ... I'm sorry.

so at 11 ish I ask Martha when she plans to come to the house as it is getting late and we are tired.
I get told that i am trying to argue...

finally decided to tell her that I know shes with Lori and I don't care that I hate she feels the need to lie that she could have come seen Halo and gone out all night would have been fine as she is grown.

to which I get a bunch of texts basically saying she knows I stalk facebook and how I failed her test (totally a Lori line) to which I again tell her I don't care who / where / when shes with  anyone as she is grown but since she is planning on staying at my house she needs to respect me and it....

so on and on the shit goes.

BUT my point is this....
I really do not care who she is with , where she lives, what she does as SHE IS GROWN and has to make her own choices and LIVE with the things that happen from those choices... MY CONCERN, MY CARE, MY HEART is WITH HALO and YES I am very concerned with Martha dragging Halo back to Florida when she is not in a stable home does  not have a car does not have medical insurance for Halo.... and IF all of that makes me a bad MOTHER/ GRANDMOTHER then YES I AM BAD.

So that being vented ... NO Martha did not come stay at my house but, will come sometime today and take Halo and that will be Christmas. 

You know I have missed Venting On my blog but, I truly have not felt like taking the time to bore everyone to death with my life and the BS that goes on in it and I really do believe that if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing and I HAVE NOT HAD MUCH NICE TO SAY FOR A LONG TIME....

I do have a lot of news however so will  hit those things

My step mother Jeannie has been in the ICU for a month, Thursday she was taken to an acute long term care facility.  Jeannie is 62 not 65 like i thought... Yesterday at St Anthony's Hospital in St Louis they DRAINED 1/2 gallon plus a pint of fluid off Jeannie's lungs!!! they did a cat scan and x rays and were supposed to do a sonogram... Dad (is 76) says he thinks she will go home in 2 weeks... I don't see how... then he says I don't think my insurance will pay for longer.... WHAT THE F U C K!  so for all you pray'ers out there PRAY HARD for THEM that she does get her miracle and goes home healthier and takes much better care of herself in the future.
their car wreck from the Friday after thanksgiving, still has not been settled ...(the wreck and her being in the hospital are NOT related)

My mother Jean (yeah I know confusing) better known as MOM or the woman who adopted me / raised me blah blah... who lives in Hannibal has also been in the hospital... HER STOMACH WENT TO SLEEP  and stopped working... she has had her intestines go to sleep before so ... this falls under the nothing surprises me much other than how this woman who has visited deaths door more times than I can count is still living.  She went back to the nursing home yesterday (Christmas eve) she did not want to go as she gets  a lot more attention in the hospital.

My baby cousin Todd (hes grown and has his own child) but he is the youngest of the 5 grands on my dads side... is taking a new chemo supposed to have really bad side effects, he is feeling good not having the side effects at all so those prayers are being answered... now for the chemo to  get rid of the cancer!

Cory is an EMT now he does double duty no triple duty he dispatches, he does 911 calls and he does transports and specials... he works all the time and mostly LOVES his career change... I am glad he is not working as a police man any more... it is really really a dangerous and scary job! 

Stephanie got her Cosmetology license and is working at the ummm what do you call high class hoity toity cost a lot but get of hell of a hair job place ... anyway she loves it and still does work at the restaurant a few days a week too...

Bradley... OH what a doll he is growing up so fast but is such a loving boy, when he is not being a little turd.... he is 3 this year and very excited to see Santa clause come.  He is going to speech therapy and really doing good, there are still times when he is excited and gets to speed talking and I have to tell him SLOW DOWN GRANDMA CANT HEAR THAT FAST!  

He and Halo OH MY WORD so funny together, Jo took some fantastic pictures of them two days ago so when I get them from her will Post them, she is a pro FOR REAL :)

Halo well that kid is  growing like a little weed and talking up a storm and so freakin cute and loving... she walks around saying I LOVE I LOVE  I Love PAPA, or Granma or ELMO or Blankie or cookie it is sooooo cute.  She loves it here loves her routine.  how many babies do you know will stop playing grab her toys and blankie tell you night night and go to her room ON  TIME for her nap or at night??? she is pretty consistent about it and cracks me up often...
She is fiercely independent and opinionated... IMAGINE that... and yes we will go crazier with worry about her and will miss her something awful but, hopefully it will not be long till she comes back to see us.

As for ME, The retina specialest (I went the 19th) says my eye is as good as it is going to get and to protect my GOOD eye ... What i can see I see fine what I can not see simply ... there is nothing there so the optic nerve damage is perminant.  I go back in a year.  I do however need new glasses so will be going one day in the next few weeks and get that taken care of. 

The Infectious diease dr, Still has me taking antibotics IT HAS BEEN A FULL YEAR now... 600 mg azithromycin a day... he says, KEEP TAKING THEM... at least another 6 months maybe longer. He says we have stopped the diease process but we are in uncharted territory and he wants to make sure this never comes back or comes to my right eye... I Agree. 

The neurologist I need to call ... and adjust my meds they LYRICA is a wonder drug for me but is INSANELY expensive... I dont go see her till june I think.

the Endocrine dr is simply HAPPY with me and how I am doing she is tickled pink over a lot of stuff and a really wonderful woman. I dont see again her till summer.

I have been teaching my self to can ... with some early morning phone calls to my cooking pals for help and advice... LOVE you PALs!   I made spiced pears, Pickled watermellon rinds, Lime pickles, and green beans. I also put up white acre peas, lima beans, Corn and pink eye peas ... for Christmas I wanted and got a pressure canner for the things that need higher temps ... am excited to get to try it out . 

anyway IF you have read all this BLESS YOU and Love YOU. Merry Christmas and I promise to TRY To be a better blogger!