CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!!

365 days ago this little face came into our world... and has rocked it ever since!

these tasty toes have grown and are still as yummy as the day she was born!

She is a joy and the best baby ever... in some ways shes even easier (if that's possible) than her older cousin

She's too much fun and keeps us laughing non stop with her happy little self.

 now to do SOMETHING with that wild wild hair LOL...

Happy 1st birthday my sweet itty bitty Halo you are officially 365 and 22 minutes old now!   we love you Grandma and papa :)

Christmas Fun...

Halo was having fun playing with the paper as she tried to open her present

 She is all grins giggles and squeals

 Bradley is very precise each little piece of paper must go in the trash bag before the next came off

 Stephanie all smiles

 Bradley opening his TRAIN!!

 and riding it all over,  Halo was a tad bit excited!

 Gimmie my ball Momma....

 well what did you do with it???

 Bradley Got a roller coaster from his aunts and they brought it in for him to play and his train fit it perfectly.  it was all mike could do to hold Halo back

 Halo finally got a turn to ride too, that little car goes FAST!

 Bradley made 5000 trips up and down if he made one and totally loves this toy

 he is all giggles and grins

 he would pick the train up (and it is not real light) and tote it back every trip... was so funny Cory would get in his way and he would say move pease daddy move pease!!

then back to the start again.... and again...and again

the kids had a ball and because they did we did too.... Hope you had as much fun as we have...
and a nice day of recovery today :) 
may God bless you and keep you until we meet again :)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone,  Happy holidays to those who don't celebrate Christmas and happy Hanukkah and what ever else anyone calls is Happy Sunday :)  Hope your day is filled with fun and joy family friends and all the good things in life.
love n hugs
God Bless you and keep you till we meet again :)

As we continue to rule things out!

1st, thanks to my (step) mom who bought the kids christmas outfits we love them !! I simply dont have an eye for things like that and am about 40 years behind in fashion except for my lovely purse (thanks again Hallie everyone who sees it loves it) 

now to the update i know you all are DYING to read... you are probably sick of the drama, I know I am.

Anyway... Dr Sethi confirmed what  I already believed ... we have totally ruled out a brain tumor (thank God) we have totally ruled out pseudotumorcerebri (again thank you God)  all of the tests on my spinal fluid were normal i cant even remember what they all were but I do not have MS I do not have something with cones  glucose was good protien was good and about 5 others that I cant even remember are all good. 

My two dr's had a phone conference and decided to rule out lyme diease and Cat scratch Fever as well so I had more blood drawn for that and had chest x rays to rule out scaroid sarcoid something or another I looked at the x rays and all I could tell was I have lungs and lymph nodes... and a spine :)  

By the changes in my eye (i do have pics but have not bothered to scan them yet)  the diamox makes me lazier and very sleepy... thats my excuse and I am sticking to it  but anyway  by the changes inmy eye  they are totally leaning toward cat scratch fever, and whats in my eye is called neuroretinitis... I have started on a month of antibotics and will wean off the diamox in the next two days as I really dont need it since i dont have the pseudo tumor...

well the darlin hubby says he is starving so i must go fix him something to eat (i ate at 4 cause i missed earlier being at the hospital having stuff done... so  if I dont see you before then, MERRY CHRISTMAS and all the other holidays that i cant spell if you celebrate them ... and God bless you and keep you till we meet again

christmas pics of the babies.... Finally!

They love each other so much

 he took the bulb from her...

 she told him where to put it

o

 he was not cooperating well as he was worn out and totally silly, she was tired and ready to play

 love them baby feets

 finally big grins

 mr ham bone

 Aunt Stephie and Halo

 SEE I can stand all by my self.... not walking yet but can stand for ages  and dance too

 HEY LOOK AT ME!

 still standing

 in the play room looking a bit guilty of something....

well thats all folks... of course there are more pics but.... must keep the post from boring you to tears.
love hugs and God bless you and keep you until we meet again. :)

Its saturday evening....

On Friday  Michael and I got up and left home by 7 am to get to my 815 appt, as we really had no idea where the heck we were going and ended up parking just about as far away as you possibly could in the 16 block area of the hospitals, the lady at Dr sethi's office was more confused than ME on where I was to go to have this LP done... it was actually in the xray dept in the hospital.  so good thing we were early or we would have never  found it on time.  
They got me right back to the back and of course it took forever to do the paper work then into xray I went... Yes I survived, not it was not particularly painful (at times it was but the pain did not last long) when the nurse HIT THE NEEDLE in my back with the xray machine ... well thank GOD i had plenty of local on board or I am sure I would have come off the table and done my best to return the pain.  oddly enough it was mostly just really uncomfortable and the worst part was him removing the needle.  Reminded me a great deal of the weird pain of when they removed the JP drains 6 years ago after surgery.
my CSF level was only a 9 (could be a bad reading or it really could be NORMAL) which 10 is normal... it took FOREVER it seemed to get the BIG tube full of Fluid... as they have to allow it to drain by gravity...
anyway we came home after and michael took good care of doing everything for me and when the local wore off i was really sore for about 24 hours...
Today I decided I HAD to get things done so I can mail stuff off for christmas... and it took me the better part of the day (i was going slow and taking lots of breaks I did not buy too much for the kids of course now I would not do that)  Stephanie came by and got the stuff I had gotten for them for Bradley for his christmas at their house to go with the things they had gotten too... the rotten boy is gonna have a HUGE christmas LOL...by 430 i could not hold my head up so went to bed for a few hours...so now am up having my evening coffee and telling you all about it :) 
I still am not done by the way, still have a few things to pick up tomorrow and then of course have to get to the post office on monday so... hopefully things wont be late.  but if they are... I simply cant help it. 
the vision I thought might be a bit better yesterday but today... its as bad as it has been... the Diamox is a dieuretic but i dont see where it makes me go any more than normal.  I go back to the retina dr on wednesday and the neuro on friday... oh and if you want to have a heart attack... some bills have begun to come in.... so far things have cost well over 10 thousand dollars... sigh... oh well they will get a LITTLE at a time and will have to be happy with that.    I did about fall over at some of the costs... HA  as if I should be suprised at it.   Well cant be too bothered  have had good care and they have been good about working with (so far ) lol   they might as well be cant suck blood from a turnip! 
well my GF Laura is texting me shes in Savannah... and gonna have crab legs for supper has me drooling a pool here... so i best go figure out something to eat....prolly a stinkin ole hamburger since thats all i have here to work with and its the easiest thing to make
Happy Saturday Ya'll God bless you and keep you till we meet again :)

News! :D

I went to the Neurologist today... I DO NOT have a brain tumor... I do have pseudotumorcerebri.  She said they don't know what causes it to occur but what it is in a nut shell is that one, my body is making too much cerebral spinal fluid and two, it is not draining properly.  so she put me on Diamox to help get the fluid off and I am scheduled on Friday for a spinal tap which will measure the pressure and then she is also having some tests run on the fluid, to rule out some things and to diagnose ... I also have some kind of infection (POSSIBLY) as one of my labs was pretty far off kilter so she ordered it to be redone along with some other labs which I went and had drawn today.   so schedule is like this... Friday spinal tap, next Wednesday back to Dr Marcus (the retina specialist) then on Friday back to Dr Sethi for spinal tap and blood work results :)  
she tested my vision again,  and i have 20/70 ish in my left eye and 20/20 in the right  and hopefully when the pressure is back to normal most if not all of my vision will come back :)

So thats where we are now and very happy to hear that it is something totally treatable and not life threatening.   Thank you for all the prayers and keep them coming :)
God bless and keep you till we meet again!

just a quickie

The dr told me that no call was good news,  so am takinghimat hisword... I go to the neurologest on wednesday,  shes been in practice 33 years and is rated one of thebest in the south east.  Michael is goingwith me  onwednesday... My stupid space bar is stickingagain...GRRRR

the other day we  got Halo dressed up inher christmas outfit,  and I came to the realisation that my view eye isof course my left oneso took pics blindly... but they turned out great I think

Little miss personality.

 shesquite the ham

 andof course i cut her head in the best smiling pic :)

 Stephanie and I took bradley to the mall to play after his last dr appt, he had aball

 the slide got a work out from him and some otther little boys...

 andmy darn  batteries died as I took thispic... but it was too cute :) 

anyway, vision is abotu the same now am seeing flashing at times which isa total pain in the ass... and have totally taken ALL meds out  of me since my last dr appt and am pretty sure this has all been happening  a while longer than I thought.  I think the  tylenol and my incredably high tolerance for pain have masked alot of stuff and I think I blamed  my old transitions glasses for some vision issues that I truely believed was the  glasses and even the eye people did at first too... so I dont feel too stupid....   anyway will let y know morewhen Iknowmore.... Debbie  got hugs and kisses from your babiestoday andtook somepics butthey are not loaded yet, haveto get halo ready to gopickup hermomfromwork.... so belookingwill havepicssoon:)
lovenhugs
God blessandkeep you   till we meet again!

MRI today

well I have never considered my self to be claustrophobic(how ever it is spelled) but I must confess I nearly freaked out... after the first 4 or 5 seconds I knew this was gonna be a  trip and kept reminding myself of all the babies /children who go through this type of tests and figured if they can do it I can too...

I did have to ask to be let out when she was putting the dye in my veins, but i still could not move my head. BUT in the end I survived it... the nurse heard my bones popping when I stood up after an hour and 15 minutes in the machine and kind of laughed told her they were thanking her for letting me out!

I have a disc with the pictures of my brain, but am not sure how to save them from the disc to my computer.  But in my educated mind the best i can GUESS at this point is that I did not see a tumor of any kind in my head... however I also don't have any visible ventricles on the right and very little on the left and my left eye orbit is much smaller in one view because of the swelling of my brain pushing into it.
 
I have lost just about all of the vision in my left eye and if it continue like it has in the last 3 weeks I figure I will be completely sightless in my left eye very soon.  I am hoping/ praying that If this is pseudotumorcerebri that once they get the pressure and fluids in my brain regulated that my sight will return.

The nurse said that  the dr should have my MRI results on monday and if my vision gets worse to call him on monday. Anyway thats where things are today :)

God bless you and keep you until we meet again ! Love n hugs and thank you for the prayers :)

hummm, what to say...

DAD I TRIED TO CALL YOU ! So you would hear it from me and not read it here. 

I spent the day being poked and photographed and looked into today, by three different eye drs and assorted others....

these are pics of the inside of my left eye... The white circles are the fluid built up around my optic nerve....causeing my lack of seeing ablilty...

I have a  week of more tests coming up, blood work tomorrow after Bradleys wound clinic appt, then back to the retinal center on wednesday for more vision tests, then a mri on friday to rule out a brain tumor.

The dr thinks that I may have what is called pseudotumorcerebri but has to rule out the tumor to say for sure... then next week I will be going to a neurologest for more tests.  will also confess the spinal tap in my future is not setting well but I will deal with it when it comes.  SOMETIMES being a NURSE is NOT a good thing... Sigh.

I refuse to freak out to panic to fall into the doom and gloom that comes with  very dire circumstances, I will however admit that the eye dr who i normally go to, did freak me out and made me cry.   but by the time I got to the second drs I was fine... and by the third... well  facinated to be honest with the things they were doing and  showing me... even though most was really blurry as they kept my eyes dialiated.  oh and they said I have papilledema too.

The drive home in theDARKand RAIN was rather... well as my dear daughter said STUPID but dang there was no one who could come get me and bring the van home so I drove.  sides that had been driving all day with less than adequate vision... BLAH.

anyway wanted to let you all know whats been going on here as I find things out.  so keep me in your thoughts and prayers as this is sorted out and taken care of :) 
Until we meet again God bless you and keep you!!!!!

I have been MIA

Yes I know, I have been too busy too crazy too everything for awhile... AND I APOLOGISE...

I have had so much going on that I have not even kept up with it myself...

I actually sat down and wrote a snail mail letter to my aunt because I could not work out the time to call her, I usually for the last 6 years have talked to her at least once a week! 

Everyone here is well.  We got to spend some time with all for thanksgiving, including two friends that I met online over 8 years ago, who came to share in the feast with us!  IT MADE MY THANKSGIVING!

Corys still working as dispatcher, he should have his EMT testing soon

Stephanie has changed jobs about three times in 2 months... but I think finally has one that suits her

Bradley has been to the wound clinic again and goes back this coming Tuesday, IF that ONE spot has not improved as much as the surgeon thinks it should then he will be having a second skin graft on that area very soon as in next week or the week after....but he is great!

Martha lost her cracker barrel job, and under the circumstances cant say I would have done much differently, shes still working at the shoe dept at the mall so that's good, I am sure she will be hunting a second job very soon. Martha will be 20 in three days! SHEESH I just birthed her... what the heck happened to the time?

Halo is ... the silliest little thing, she is quite the entertainment when she is here.  she will be 11 months in a few days then we have Christmas and her birthday HARD TO BELIEVE she will be ONE.

Michael is good, he thought he had hurt his back messing with BERTHA, the bow saw, a couple weeks ago he missed some work and spent a lot of time with the heat pad, then finally we decided that BERTHA has not caused the problem but his intake of coffee and milk verses water or cranberry juice... as he began to partake in juice and water and within 24 hours was better.  I am glad I do not do a ill Michael very well... would much rather have a house full of sick people verses ONE sick Michael.  Nough said... but I am sure ALL the women understand.

I have some issues happening and will have to make time to visit the eye Dr soon, Not too sure whats going on but possibly a cataract ... have a cloud in the left side of my left eyes line of vision, no pain no hurts just totally annoying. 

I have allowed the on line yard sales take over my time and in turn have gotten rid of a lot of things that were in the way... HOWEVER I have also replaced much of the space I made... GAH  the babies have enough clothing to last until they are a couple sizes bigger than they wear now, they have enough toys for Christmas and birthdays to cover 10 kids easily.... my HOUSE STILL looks like a toy store puked in it... and it only takes Bradley 10 minutes tops to have 99% of it drug out inventoried and is totally busy playing, He has complete conniptions when he has to go home and I fear that's gonna get worse after Christmas and he gets ALL of his THOMAS train stuff OH MY...

I had to laugh yesterday, I was BEAT from Thursday and Wednesday and so when they came over Friday I was propped up on the couch in the recliner and pretty much refused to get up... and he made a mess with some cookies,  he grabbed his toy vacuum and tried to clean it up (his momma was sitting beside me in the other recliner)  anyway, when his vacuum did not do as he wanted he trotted off to the bedroom closet and drug out the big vacuum and brought it to the living room and told his momma in his language to use it... so she did the small area where the mess was and he got totally upset that she did not do the entire room like grandma does... Told her, see he is a great kid he helps me!  not so sure she appreciated that but, hey truth hurts!   He also  will not let anyone sit to eat without the blessing being said first so when they all sat to eat (i again refused to get up)  he made them stop until papa had said the blessing :)  he's such a good boy!

anyway have a busy time coming up as I ended up with 5 children from the angel tree (long story not telling it now ) anyway they have to be bought for and items delivered by the 9th, and if Bradley has to have surgery  then I will be  there plus his drs appts my own and just life in general....

Just wanted to check in on everyone and let you know we are living and well and to say I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving :)
God Bless and Keep you until we meet again!

The real who is who....

Ok fun and games aside... this is the real photos of us three  me, then Martha, then halo all taken between 9 months to a year I am pretty sure I was a year, martha is 10 months, and Halo 9 and a half months

Martha had a cotton head by the time she was this old... but as you can see we all look alike and in some pictures and with some expressions more than others...

whos who

1st before I load the pic... thank you all for thelove and support you give me... You ALL make my days brighter andhold me up when I cant hold myself... and I cant thank you enough for that....

now for the whos who...

truthfully its not hard to tell... but still its fun :)

The short of it all...

if there is such a thing as the short of it.

yeah this involves Martha...
and halo...
Saturday night Martha decided she wanted to come home, again.
she said she had enough and was ready to get her life together and make the changes that it would require for her to grow up and get out of the situation she is in.  
I believed her, again and hoped and prayed that she would listen and truly sever the ties that bind her. 
to take the time she need to get on her feet...
to give HERSELF a chance. 
She did not. 
She had made her decisions and needed a catalyst to make the reversal of her decision...
someone to blame for her staying here not working. 
I am that catalyst...
I CAN NOT keep my thoughts, my opinions, my beliefs, my feelings inside me...and when certain buttons are pushed all bets are off...
and when you are standing in my house no matter how right you think you are you do not try to tell me that my husband is not providing for you...
you do not bad mouth in any way him or my life with him...
so, I said what I believed and I was right... that she wanted me to say something to provide an excuse for her to go back to him...
and she did.  
At 3 am she walked out of my house leaving Halo here and walked to where ever...
this morning I got the texts I was expecting telling me how bad things are here and how bad I am and that she is staying with him and there is nothing I can say or do to change that...
I had already told her the night before that I can't make her decisions, I can't stop her from doing what ever she wants, I can voice my opinion on it and I can be unhappy with her choices but, that's it. 
She came around 1245 to get her things that she had brought over and to get Halo. 
She told me in her texts that she wont keep Halo away from me and will need rides from time to time... REALLY NOW...
is that so???
What she does not get ...
yet...
is that I ment what I said when I said I can not do this anymore, I can't have whats left of my heart ripped out and chunked into pieces and pulled and pushed because I love and want a relationship with my grand daughter....
and my daughter. 
I can't be the baby sitter when everyone else is too busy or her father wants to go party while her mother is working.  I can't be the necessary ride when its time for her to be picked up and he has not shown up. I can't get out of my bed any more at 1 am to try to help when things are bad. 
I simply can't...
because you see I think more of myself. 
I have to let her go, I have to let the grand child that I adore go and pray that nothing bad happens to her...
I have to keep living and I have to keep what little is left of my heart....
I have to trust that God will take care of them and that someday (everyone I have talked to who has gone through things like this SWEAR that SOMEDAY) it will all be better...
I'm sorry but, right now I seriously have my doubts. 
But I am trying hard to let God have it...
and let him take care of it...
and me.
so until SOMEDAY comes....
I wait.

Contest has ended...

Thank you for playing along with us...
due to the drama and crap in our lives ....
I declare all who participated winners so if you will email me your addresses I will find something that is specific to each as a prize because we need all the smiles we can get and you provided us with those.
love n hugs Laura :)

CAPTION CONTEST!

this photo needs a caption...

rules to this contest are:
1. create a caption that will make me cry tears right down my leg!
2. PLEASE DO NOT link to facebook, but feel free to share the contest on your blog IF your blog is NOT linked to facebook.
3.contest will end TUESDAY at noon. 
4.prize will be ... I don't know what yet but, something worthy!
5. Have fun!
*papa will pick the winner! *

I realised when I saw this pic it really needs a great caption and, that it has been way too long since I held a contest!  So with all that said Have fun !  I can't wait to see what my brilliant blogger  blisters and friends come up with!

Bradley and Mallorie spent the day with me...

I got a call at 630 this morning, YES I was asleep :)  was my friend Kim, Mallories Grandma,  asking me if I could keep Mallorie today as Becca was sick and she could not take off work... I am a kid sucker... so yep Mal came to stay with Bradley and I...

WITHOUT any prompting from me they hugged hello... and I had the camera out!

 then they proceeded to pull out 80% of the toys in the house (there are a few they can't reach or don't know where I have them hidden)  they PLAYED together, and seperately for the next 5 hours... oh and ate too...

 they cooked...

 they mowed... the porch ... the weather was insanely beautiful so we opened the windows and front door.

 this was just tooooooo precious them mowing together in circles through the house and on the porch... (don't forget you can click to embiggen all pics)

 this pic (below) is SCREAMING for a caption contest....

 and just for you MPM since you asked where the adults fit in... there is plenty of room even with all the toys scattered all about... but you must watch your step in areas lol... I really need to take a pic of what it is like when there are no kids here.... really It is all picked up and clean... I swear!

 Hank was holding down the back porch... and glad the children could not get him.

 they seriously were soooo good... Mal went to sleep at 1100, Bradley at 1130 ,she was up at 12 15, him at 315... I like his nap style!  really I do... then at 5 their  mommas (grandma) came and got them and I cleaned up to prepare for Halo tomorrow :)

and that was my day....
hope yours was HALF as much fun as mine cause if it were then you are very blessed!!!!!
Love, hugs, thoughts, and prayers.  May God bless you and keep you till we meet again.

Halo Photo shoot :)

*No mama, the cat is not one that is picked up by people... he is somewhat friendlier than he used to be but that is another reason he is kept from the babies.  He is  truely a ferral cat.

now on to more fun stuff... I have videos for you but guess what blogger isnt loading them and after 4 hours of frustration and trying I give up... so still pics will have to do...

One of marthas friends loves to take pics (almost as much as I do) and she came over yesterday and between the two of us we took over 600 pics... no i wont post all just some favorites ... showed them to a neighbor who now wants me to take her families christmas pics and pics of her kids :)

Gabby loves Halo and Halo loves Gabby too, Jordan was having a ball playing with them.

 halo was not too sure about the chair but then discovered it rocks....

 She waved Hi to ya'll 

 Jordan wanted to put her in a dress, Halo was not cooperating and gabby thought it was HYSTERICAL

 we took some blankets outside ...Halo said who needs blankets and took off to the grass

 and was busy checking out the leaves and grass

 then decided to go find what else was out there needing her attention

 jordan brought some cute little curtian thingys... halo was having fun playing, wheres Halo...

 then she got tickled at jordan

 and finally broke out into huge grins and giggles

 then Jordan snuck in a kiss

 was too cute :)

 Halo said, more Jo Jo more :)

we have two teeth through now and Halo is very interested when anyone is eating anything around her and has to have some too... she is too funny!  anyway hope you enjoyed our photo session as much as we have
till we meet again !  God Bless you and keep you !