you want to give up... you want to so damn bad but, you are unable to give up because that stupid survival instinct is too strong in you?? you know from past experiences that... this too shall pass. (like a pinto, right dad?) and given time things will get better or at the very least on an even keel.... you know that acceptance is THE ANSWER... because it is out of your control and not your decision to make in the first place... yet somehow you manage to feel responsible at least in part for the way some things are.
you want to kick and scream you want to hit something or someone... yet you know that wont solve the problems... If you still drank you would be a blathering gutter drunk... because you would want to stay numb all the time...and you know that is not the answer either because eventually you do sober up... least I always did... you want to put it out there so you dont feel alone yet you dont want to because, well because it effects or is it affects, never am sure with those two words which is the right one, others that you love.
you try to laugh and smile and carry on because you know thats just what has to be done... but you really dont want to.
you can see the answer or solution as plain as the nose on your face but, the others involved cant or wont see it ... damn here we are back at that freakin ACCEPTANCE again arent we?
sigh... guess I will go back to my corner now... nurse my wounds ... and come back swinging later....