my get up and go...

got up and went... dang it... its hiding from me... I spent the day yesterday doing stuff, it was tiring but fun.

I could not sleep last night, I am becoming convinced that restless leg syndrome is totally attacking me... my legs kick at the most bizarre of times and my feet tingle and cramp... and of course my mind does not seem to shut off... so I get up and spend half the night watching mindless crap on the tv. 

Then when I finally get up I find that I have no energy to do anything past thinking of what I really need to get done....fortunately there is nothing major that needs to be done, just the annoying things that make life a bit less complicated ... like I need to vacuum, so will do that eventually,  need to go pick up milk and toilet paper but  there is enough to last until tomorrow so I see that being put off until then.   

tomorrow and Friday Bradley will be here : ) that makes me smile even though I know I will be worn out by the end of two 13 hour days of chasing a toddler who is into everything but all smiles while getting into it ...

I am trying to  convince myself that it is NOT my responsibility to see that my grand kids have the clothing, diapers, formula and other life items that I WANT them to have but, maybe they just don't need ... from me. 

I am really bad about taking from US to see to it that the kids and babies have all that I think they should and I need to correct that.  It is not fair to us.  Hell, I even did that to try to help my sister, maybe that is the wake up call I needed to see... because in spite of forgiving her for what she has done or not done caused or not caused I cant help but, analyze it all to death... and try to figure out what exactly it is I am supposed to learn from the situation... because you see I see all things in life as a mode to learn SOMETHING... ANYTHING because life is about learning ... but we have to be ready willing and able to learn the lessons life is teaching us.  (if that does not make sense its ok it does to me ) 

I am back into the thinking about going back to work mode, I would like to find that perfect part time job that will fit my schedule as there are certian things I really don't want to change right now... so I am looking for a monday tuesday wednesday 7 am to 3 pm type of job preferable in the nursing field, I have done and can do just about anything and have a valid liscense... but, I must do things in order like update my resume, and do some research of what is even out there these days.  and God help, hunt down and find the people I have worked with in the past so I can have some good references and who knows maybe they will know of something that is right up my alley of what I am thinking of looking for... cause see thats how my crazy life works... in the last 10 or so years,  I had a job that was totally out of my scope of training and when that job ended 2 hours later I was hired somewhere else, and when that ended and I was looking for something else I called an old coworker and she sent me to a job where I was hired immediately and from it there came another that was probably the best job I have ever had... and I got spoiled to that job and also burnt out ... so for 4 years I have not worked out in the public...so anway thats some of the many crazy things running through my mind...

sorry If I confuse or scare you when I let the little bits out to play :)  time to vacuum...Have a great day and weekend this weather is lovely but, where is all the rain we were told was coming??? we really need it!