bah humbug

went to bed late in hopes of sleeping in... 5 30 was up decided to start cooking, got ham in the oven, dressing in the crock pot, sweet potato casserole in the other crock pot, made the cheese cakes yesterday, chopped the cheese yesterday, so have turkey to put in the rotesserie around 9 and corn and beans to start later and of course mac and cheese and deviled eggs yet to come as well oh and gravy....

MJ you are not locked out the stupid password is the same as the old blog, you know I dont have many variations on passwords... its too hard to remember them all.

Hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving and good food and family and....

NOW comes my vent session my bitch session my total resentment dumping so if you want to stay happy stop reading here....
you have been warned things are gonna get ugly .....

ok if you did not stop reading....
you need to know I really do not like the HOLIDAYS....

I have never liked the holidays... they suck for me.

I love to cook yeah, so I dont mind the cooking there is nothing special that I cook just for the holidays there is just more of it... so more work for me...

The reasons I hate the holidays are many so I guess I will just list my grieveances
1. my family is so spread out, and even if they were close together they would never be together.
2. I am always stuck in the middle playing peacemaker
3. I love selfish people ... as in my husband my kids my parents my in laws my out laws ...
4. I despise the commercialism of the holidays... Christmas crap was out before  halloween was over that sucks.
5. I am taken for granted and am abused regularly.

I am to the point that I  hate the preparing and planning for a day that I know my family, the selfish assholes that I love, wont be together and I pray that the day come and go as quickly and peacefully as possible.

I hate knowing that there are people out there who wont have anything to eat or a place to stay.  It makes me feel sick knowing that I will have more than we can ever eat and even after days of eating on what is cooked much will go out for the wild animals to eat.

and I think most of all I am sick of everyone telling me how they feel and how they think I should feel or act,  and with that I mostly mean my husband and my daughter.  I am sick of being the buffer between them and listening to them both tell me how right they are and how wrong the other is because in truth they both have valid points and to some degree both are correct.  THEY ARE JUST ALIKE.  Hardheaded assholes who would not give an inch. 

I think I am most lonely around the holidays and even in a house with people in it I feel alone... thats my issue to work out...

and for now this is all I have to say... there is a lot more floating around in my head but, I am reluctant to share it right now when I should be counting my  many blessings....

1. I have food
2. I have a roof over my head
3. I have the means to pay the bills *even if some are late at times*
4. I have Bradley and will soon have Halo, and they are easy for now because they dont have snakes in their heads.
5.I have YOU the people who come read this drivel and actually come back... God Bless you all.
Happy Thanksgiving :)