Hold your ears .....

I may have to scream...

I can't even begin to explain what I am thinking and feeling right this second...

I guess that need to admit that I want to be in control, not because I know better but, damn it I am 44 I have moved across the country I have been there done that and I do have some freaking smarts and common sense. 

I DO know and realise that this part of my life is totally out of control and out of my control BUT, I am the queen of the easier softer way... really ...

how come it is that we can look and see what would be so much easier, what needs to be done and how to do it... when it is NOT our life!   ok when its our kids and we HAVE to let them F up their lives to sink or swim or what ever the saying of the day may be....

It is insanely hard to take that step back and say, NO! sorry I cant help you do this, I can't stop you and I won't even try but DAMN I see the train wreck comming and It's driving me NUTS knowing that it will effect helpless babies who have no say...in what happens in their lives.   

Ok, so if you hear a LOT of screaming from the south east of the US just know its me and That I will be ok because I know deep in my soul that God is in control and I am not.  *knowing this does not make it any easier however*  

if you have read this far... Bless your heart!  

welp just got a phone call of a friend in need so got to go see what i can do to help her..