Wednesday, February 29, 2012

29th day of Feb.

today was my godfathers birthday.... hes been gone from earth a long time... but i always think of him at the end of February especially. 

Halo is 14 months old today,  and today is the day her parents are leaving to go to Florida to find a place to live.  Halo is staying with grandma  until they come back for her.  

Today, the last 3 months have totallycaught up with me and  kicked my ass I cant wake up and get functioning...

If this mess with my eye has been caused by STRESS which is entirely possible according to my dr's...

 I am doomed because there is no end to the stress in my life and it seems to me that it could find a different way to manifest itself in me... like WHY CANT I BE ONE TO LOSE A TON OF WEIGHT WHEN STRESSED???
geee no, not me nothing that wonderful could happen... I go freakin blind in one eye.

 to answer someone who asked, could this have anything to do with increased blood sugars?   according to ALL 5 Drs.  the answer is NO absolutely not, there is nothing in the pathology and presentation of my eye other than being unable to see that even comes close to diabetic retinopathy. 

so In some  ways I am totally greatful that that is their answer. 

there is STILL the possibility that I will regain some vision but, the longer this goes on and the lack of change in my field of vision the less hopeful that I become.  It is really hard to explain but the bits I can see I now can see  20/20 with my glasses on...that is IMPROVEMENT! but, there is still an incredable amount that I simply can not see.  

the flashes and what not Dr Capps suggested could be the dead nerves trying to reconnect ... so that is a possibility that i have not considered and hope that she is correct in that guess and that somday they will reconnect and i will regain full vision.  

in the mean time bradley and Halo will both be here soon and my house is a wreck since martha came last night to go through stuff and get it ready to gowith her when they find somewhere to live.  so I must leave the computer and get busy even though all i really want to do is go  back to bed.

Love hugs and God bless you and keep you until we meet again.


farmlady said...

If I had your stress level, it would probably kill me. I could never take my grand kids in for a long period of time.
Please be careful and don't over do. I worry about you.

Mental P Mama said...

Please, please, please take care of yourself. I think we need a chat this weekend! Hugs.

TSannie said...

Hugs, good thought and love to you...

Paxie said...

If I had read this first, I would have known. Duh, me. I agree with farmlady...and what you are doing is amazing. I sure hope these kids appreciate you. If not, we'll have to come down there them!

I'm praying for improvement in your eye and for God to give you strength to get through all of this. ♥♥♥

Bluebird49 said...

I think you're amazing to do all you do--not knowing what the outcome will be (or may be) on your health! Naturally--for some of us--stress puts ON the pounds--doesn't take them off. :(